Declare yourself... Scary. We are always scared where there is a danger to life. Our instinct of self-preservation will never allow you to relax if somewhere there is even the slightest suspicion of a change in a stable state. It can take a long time talk about this and summarize, fear is natural, where homeostasis is disturbed. I’ll tell you about something else... I’ll tell you about what freezes us. What or who makes us freeze or run away from ourselves in those moments when we want to declare to the world: I AM! Mmm, what does it feel like to hear with your own ears that I AM? So, if in response you answer yourself: “well, I am and there is something wrong here”; or “I don’t understand why or why I should say this”; or what kind of phrase is this” and so on..., instead of feeling inner satisfaction after the phrase, you know that once upon a time your inner self was not treated very correctly. To put it mildly, there are many reasons for this: *parental messages, to be as I tell you; We cannot disobey our mother. In childhood. And we comply without complaint. *My children’s newly formed attitudes: to be obedient, diligent, comfortable, calm, well, in general, 100% better than the child of that same mother’s friend. To get at least a little more attention, love, care, warmth from mom. But it once worked. And we choose to be different forever. In the hope of receiving the most important things, we deprive ourselves. *systemic intertwining, when your ancestors suffered for demonstrating themselves in society. And then your system memory stores this and will not allow you to express yourself. Let's see ⬆ - the instinct of self-preservation will not work. Scary. *my personal experience already in adulthood, when some specific event entailed danger for oneself or for another. For example, someone was imprisoned, deprived of some benefits, etc. And then we again choose NOT TO BE. *any traumatic stories in your life. Starting from real physical attacks, moral and emotional impacts - ending with the divorce of parents and the death of a pet all in the same childhood. We split, lose our true parts of ourselves, and appropriate others. And voila, you no longer know I AM. Or I AM NOT. It is difficult to declare about another I, a broken one. It's scary to show it to the world. So we sit on the sidelines, waiting for permission to manifest ourselves. Only who is allowed to control your life? With thoughts of you, psychologist, systemic arranger Anna Kurdyukova.