What should I do if my husband cheats on me? Try to change yourself...And you will understand how insignificant your chances of changing others are!!! Letter from another city: Our family is now on the verge of divorce. We have been together for 14 years, two children: 13 and 9 years old. My husband cheated on me, but this is not the first time, I forgave him then (12 years ago), but now it turns out he did it all the time, because he believed that there should be one family, and everything he doesn’t get in the family , (as it turned out to be affection) can be obtained on the side, and now he says that he fell in love, that she is completely different, it’s easy to communicate with her, etc. He tried to leave 2 times already (first to her), he came back the next day, he said that he couldn’t live without me, without the children, they lived for 1.5 weeks, I’m a very kind, calm person, I tried to show him signs of attention throughout the 1.5 weeks, caresses, warm SMS, but when he reacted to them, when he didn’t ((then he said that he didn’t want to hurt me anymore, deceive me and was about to leave again, but now to live alone, he left in the evening, came back in the morning and everything again the same thing - I love you, I can’t live without you, I’m already so tired of this, I love him, I want him to be happy, but I don’t have the strength anymore, a few days pass and all the joy from his return passes and again there’s some kind of chill. Tell me. , what should I do, how should I behave, I can’t kick him out - I love him very much, you can’t order your heart (((Masha, 36 years old Answer: Any difficulty in the family, and especially betrayal, is a sign that indicates what has come It's time to pay attention to yourself. Betrayal hurts, hurts pride, hits self-esteem, ruins the course of life... This is already a cry from fate that you have done something wrong in your life before. We often put off resolving relationship issues until later, until later... And when we are too close to the edge, we scream for help, go to a psychologist, and ask them to pull us out. And in such a situation, no specialist can do absolutely anything if the person’s position is clear: he is bad - I am good, he is an executioner - I am a victim, etc. When your family is hanging by a thread, and you have already allowed yourself to be treated humiliatingly, it is important to correctly formulate the goal of your work on yourself. And it’s not just about saving or not saving the family, leaving or staying... this goal is broader: how can I build a relationship that would satisfy me. That is, you need to understand yourself: how did it happen that you live in an unsatisfactory relationship. And when you understand everything and start doing things in a new way, no one can predict whether you will stay with your husband or let him go, or maybe leave on your own. The main thing is that this painful situation will end and your life will become different. The best thing to do is to work through this situation in psychotherapeutic work with a psychologist. Good luck to you! Write.