From the author: Analytical analysis of the concept of shyness and practical recommendations on how to cope with it The problem of self-confidence is quite relevant, and in some cases, almost vital. Experience working with various groups of people shows that a fairly significant percentage of all people suffer to one degree or another from excessive self-doubt. For some, the issue of their own shyness is so important that they consider it the cause of many failures in life. This becomes especially relevant when faced with life-changing events, such as starting your own family or getting promoted at work. It was not uncommon to observe a picture where a mediocre student or worker noticeably outperformed his more capable colleagues. Of course, a certain share of their success can be attributed to the presence of family ties or corruption, but a large part will still be due to the personal factor. I propose to consider our task by linking self-doubt with shyness. These two phenomena are so intertwined that they are sometimes identified. First, let's look at shyness itself, what it is. The fundamental work of the American psychologist Philip Zimbardo, “Shyness,” is devoted to this problem, in which the author, in a very accessible form, sets out the reasons and ways to overcome shyness at a given age. The word “shyness” itself can be divided into two parts, and we get - “behind the wall”, that is, it turns out that we call shy someone who hides from others, puts a certain barrier, a wall between himself and others. What makes this or that person behave this way? Obviously, fear, fear that others may give a negative assessment, may cause some harm, but you never know what the imagination can draw. Where do these fears come from, what is their nature, how objective are they? These are the questions that most often have to be addressed when working with a specific case. In the overwhelming majority of cases, these fears are far-fetched; other people are subjectively endowed with qualities and abilities that are uncharacteristic to them. So, for example, a shy person always seems to think that others are more confident than he is, and that his problem is inherent only to himself. Such a person tries in every possible way to hide his shyness and strives to appear more confident. However, with all this, he misses the main idea that not only he is trying to hide his problems from others, others, in turn, can also hide theirs from him. Thus, in Zimbardo’s study, it was found that about 80 percent of respondents note that they have problems due to shyness. This suggests that if you experience shyness when communicating with other people and are trying in every possible way to overcome it, then with an 80% probability it can be said that the interlocutor is experiencing the same thing and, just like you, is trying to hide his condition. Don’t forget about this the next time you worry about your own shyness. In general, the phenomenon of shyness is closely related to another psychological phenomenon designated as “Self-concept.” In general terms, “I-concept” is understood as a person’s idea of ​​himself, seeing himself in three main planes: an ideal, desired state; current, real, and how, according to a person, others perceive him. The relationship between the first and second parameters gives self-esteem, that is, it determines how a person evaluates himself. It is important to understand here that a large difference between the desired and actual self-image determines low self-esteem. That is, if a person, relating himself to the ideal, sees a huge difference, then his opinion of himself will be low. That is why it is so harmful to create multiple ideals for yourself, instead of one, the core of which will not be fashion and populism, but a specific person with an ideal set of moral qualities and the best character. Not really.