From the author: To live and love.... People differ from each other not only in the conditions and content of life, but also in quality. Not everyone has the same good life. There are not many people who live their lives qualitatively: with great interest, creatively and with pleasure. However, there is not a single person who would not want to improve the quality of their life, to make their life even richer and more meaningful. Quality of life is the highest value for each of us. The quality of life in general is determined by the quality of living in specific situations, the quality of living each current moment “here and now.” How we live in the present moment determines the quality of our entire life. We, of course, can hope for the best in the future, but what is fundamentally important is how we live specific current situations. Analyzing a person’s ability to live his life qualitatively, you come to the conclusion about the powerful dependence of the state of personal strength and the ability to achieve a state of happiness. In order to be happy, you need to have personal strength. A person in a state of personal strength is initially focused on activity and constructive resolution of difficulties. As my therapeutic practice shows, activity and constructiveness are the main properties of a state of personal power. The peculiarities of the state of personal power itself (in particular, increased energy tone, good physical well-being, a sense of subjectivity, etc.) orient a person towards precisely such decisions. We need to be able to organize happiness, and for this it is important to manage our unconscious decisions. What and how to do this - the answers to these questions allow us to gain power over ourselves and significantly improve the quality of life. To manage unconscious decisions about the nature of living various life situations, it is important to have a special power, which I call the “golden cheerful will.” This name was used by C. G. Jung to refer to a person’s ability to cope with negative conditions. Having this ability allows you to be in contact with your “true self” all the time. “Golden cheerful will” is a form of conscious activity of a person, based on his confidence in himself, his abilities and his strong qualities. A person who has such energy is able to control himself, his emotions and thoughts. The feeling of self-worth and the uniqueness of his own individuality does not allow him to succumb to despondency, meaninglessness and hopelessness even in the most difficult situations. The golden, cheerful will is a kind of wise inner mentor and adviser about what should be valued, where to direct attention and efforts to overcome difficult moments in life. Andrei Makarevich said and sang about this very well in his time: “There are days when you give up And there are no words, no music, no strength. On such days I was separated from myself And I didn’t ask anyone to help me........ A person who has at his disposal the resource of a golden, cheerful will does not just hope for a “bright future” " This is not hope, this is real knowledge of the presence of light forces that support you. A person’s optimism and cheerfulness is fully justified by the understanding and feeling of one’s authenticity. In what is happening - at the moment not a completely favorable combination of circumstances - we see a far from accidental manifestation of the systematic nature of our existence. This perspective of seeing what is happening significantly stabilizes one’s own emotional and even physical state. The golden, cheerful will is a peculiar function of the readiness to act constructively in unfavorable conditions, and not to worry. The golden cheerful will lies precisely in the fact that these actions release the energy of optimism and cheerfulness, faith in a positive and happy outcome, and the temporary nature of difficulties. Whatever happens, everything has high significance and promise. A golden, cheerful will certainly presupposes a sense of wonderful prospects. Shouldto say that it is precisely the reliance on wonderful images and sensations of perspective in the perception of the current moment that creates a precedent for invulnerability and cheerfulness, completeness and meaningfulness of life. Optimists are therefore more viable - creative, physically and psychologically healthy and satisfied with their own lives - than pessimists. The golden, cheerful will is a quality that is so significant for a person, significantly improving and enriching a person’s life, and is the result of self-education and conscious work on oneself. It can and should be consciously shaped. The essence of the phenomenon of golden cheerful will is an optimistic attitude. An optimistic attitude is characterized by the subject’s fundamental focus on the positive meaning (outcome, result) of what is happening and the fundamental possibility of a positive solution. The basis for the formation of an optimistic attitude is the resource of overcoming. In the process of socialization, a person gains experience in solving difficult situations for him, acquires subjectivity and begins to appreciate the very possibility of solving such situations and his own activity aimed at results. A person becomes able to learn lessons from difficult situations and utilize them. Those who seek to protect themselves from inevitable difficulties are hardly right. The experience of overcoming life's difficulties is the main condition for an individual to acquire truly human traits. Individual beauty, personal wealth and weight of a person in society, his contribution to public life directly depends on the nature of the problems solved and the difficulties that he managed to overcome. Will is needed to overcome difficult situations. Golden cheerful will is a special type of volitional states when a person not only carries out volitional efforts, but at the same time is inspired by the energy of cheerfulness and optimism. Here, of course, there is more than just willpower overcoming difficulties. A person in a state of golden, cheerful will is driven by the “excitement of taking new heights.” This excitement appears as a moment of resolving the contradiction between what is (the current state) and what can be (the desired state). The golden cheerful will reveals itself as a phenomenon of anticipating the possibility of obtaining an important result for oneself. In a state of golden cheerful will, a person is already a conqueror, and he is driven by a sense of perspective and purpose. Reliance on the goal, goal thinking and goal state are the basis for the emergence of golden cheerful will. Purpose both guides and inspires. And if will is needed to overcome obstacles, then golden, cheerful will is needed to achieve a goal. Those who want, find opportunities; those who doubt, seek explanations as to why they cannot do this. And those who look for such explanations, as a rule, find “objective and compelling reasons” for their own insolvency. In other words, if a person does not have a goal that orients him to the future, he will certainly have reasons that connect him with negative experiences from the past. We are not able to change the past, but it is entirely within our free will and power to bring some certainty to our own future. So, the sense of perspective and thereby the very state of the golden cheerful will as the main way to live a worthy and constructive life in difficult circumstances directly depends on the ability to realize one’s goals. This, of course, is a special skill - it’s not like “knitting bast shoes.” A person’s ability to realize and clearly formulate goals makes him independent of these circumstances, to subordinate the circumstances to his own will. Golden cheerful will is a form of energy of achievement, the realization of a goal. The golden cheerful will is the willingness and ability to put the energy of optimism into action. The quality of a person’s life is precisely determined by the nature of the energy that he puts into his behavior in difficult situations. To acquire a state of optimism and develop the properties of a golden, cheerful will that overcomes doubts, indecision, passivity - completelynecessary task. Now the reason, or rather, even the basis for the well-being and quality of life of every person, becomes clear. Why do some people live better and more constructively, are happy and successful? And others - under the same external conditions - are unhappy, anxious and passive... I argue that such a basis is a person’s ability and willingness to invest the energy of cheerfulness and optimism into his own actions and behavior and thereby change the current situation in the direction he desires. People capable of this are characterized by the quality of a golden, cheerful will. What makes a person move forward, want and seek something more than his mastered little world, and why is it important for a person at any age not to stand still, but to move? What is this “driving force” that does not allow you to calm down, but encourages you to “Fight, search, find and not give up” (A. Kaverin)? This force is akin to that which allows a fragile sprout to break through asphalt. The golden cheerful will precisely includes such energy, such strength. This is a certain power inherent in life itself to develop and evolve, as a need to incarnate and take place - to come true. Now we need to figure out what, exactly, is the difference in the psychology of people who have the quality of a golden, cheerful will, and those who are sorely lacking this golden, cheerful will. We are, of course, talking about two fundamentally different life paradigms (systems of beliefs and values), which form fundamentally different types of relationships towards oneself and the world. And then we should talk about what meta strategies people have for living their own lives - about lifestyles. Way of thinking, style and quality of life form a unity. The difference between these two types of people is that those who have the quality of golden cheerful will are aware that there is always a real choice: between two alternatives, they are ready to choose the better option. For people with a low quality of life (“life is difficult and boring, but short!”) there is no choice, since there is no positive alternative. In this state of affairs - in the absence of real choice - lies the fact that a person makes his worst choice. Lack of choice is also a choice, but (in this context) there is a worse choice... The main thesis: we can choose our states and we can control states. I talk about this all the time at my seminars, we demonstrate it all the time, people here do it all the time, but people chronically forget about it. They allow themselves to be carried away by a low-grade state, and then from there, of course, the path back is more difficult. An example of such “passion” could be resentment, laziness, anxiety, jealousy…. Few people, however, think that in similar circumstances he can choose alternative emotions and states! Leslie Cameron-Bandler and Michael LeBeau in their book “Hostages of Emotions or How to Save Your Emotional Life” state the so-called emotional choice: “... the same life situations that cause devastating emotions in some people awaken enviable reactions in others. We all know people who not only cope well, but thrive in situations where we typically feel and act inappropriately. These people demonstrate the ability to use emotional choice. They have two characteristics. The first characteristic of emotional choice that these people exhibit is their ability to respond with a wider range of emotions. Firstly, they either do not experience destructive emotions at all, or, if they experience negative emotions, they do not live by them. The difference here lies in the number of emotions available to experience and the ease of movement between them... With a wide range of emotions at the ready, such individuals are freed from negative emotions as quickly as they spit out a seafood meal that they found unpleasant to the taste. SecondThe hallmark of these individuals is that they respond to their emotions (both pleasant and unpleasant) as real, meaningful information about how to make their lives better, rather than as a random shock from a hostile environment. By using emotions to keep a finger on the pulse of their well-being, they direct their attention and behavior in ways that can provide them with the emotional experiences they desire.” Understanding and awareness of the fact of the presence of emotional choice is in itself the most important resource. When people realize that they have a choice, they begin to unconsciously look for alternatives. And then they no longer “get stuck” on doubts and negative experiences. The emerging “light at the end of the tunnel” inspires, the energy of cheerfulness and optimism is born - the golden cheerful will. What is the alternative, on the basis of which the choice so desired for the quality of life appears? This alternative constitutes a system of the current state (unsatisfactory health, negative emotions, unsuccessful actions, etc.) and the desired state (the best result that a person strives to achieve - respectively: positive well-being and emotions, constructive behavior and actions). In this system, every reasonable person will naturally be guided and based on the result, starting (motivating himself) from the current state. I dare to make a categorical statement: since no one deliberately intends to harm himself or act to his own detriment, then a person makes the worst possible choice (emotional experience of difficulties) for the only reason: his usual poor style of thinking inevitably leads him to this. Let’s consider exemplified by two fundamentally different approaches to “thinking about difficulties.” The first model - the model of pessimism - inevitably leads to a catastrophic decrease in the quality of life and getting stuck on the negative aspects of past experiences and disappointing forecasts for the relative future. The second model of thinking involves relying on the supposed wonderful solutions in the future - relying on precisely those options for solving the problem that inspire and awaken the golden, cheerful will. M. Atkinson offers the following guidelines for identifying a specific way of thinking about your own difficulties. FIRST MODEL: “Think about what is a personal problem for you.... Now ask yourself the question “What’s the matter?”, What is the problem?” And in such introspection, plunging into yourself, try to get an answer. Ask the question: “Why did such a problem arise with me?” “What are my own limitations, shortcomings that do not allow me to solve this problem?” “What cannot you do from - because you have this problem?” “Who is to blame for this?” “What is the worst technique, the consequence of this problem?” “How long have you been unable to overcome this problem?” “How can you solve it?” Now please shake off “all this...”. SECOND MODEL Now think about the same problem. This time ask yourself: “What did you want to change? Who would you like to become when you think about this problem?” “What do you need to achieve this? What do you need to get the desired result?” “When do you want this to happen?” “How will you know that you have achieved the desired result?” “And when you get what you want, what else will happen in your life? What else can be improved?” “What resources do you have, what strengths do you have to overcome this problem? “How can you use them to achieve the desired result?” “How can you use what is preventing you from changing a problem situation now in order to solve it?” “How can you now begin to try to solve this problem?” These two models are not just different ways of thinking about a problem. These are styles of thinking and ways of perceiving the world. They imbue us with corresponding meanings of pessimism or optimism based on.