From the author: Published on March 30, 2013 Source: “There was no sex in the USSR,” and there were also no feelings, desires, or needs. And all conversations about it were taboo. But there were fighting women, hard workers and unhappy little, but already such grown-up children. The consequences of all of the above were alcoholism, drug addiction, countless cancer patients and other sorrows of a hard life. This is how it happened and the past cannot be corrected. Now things have changed. There is sex, there is even some kind of freedom of speech, but the main thing is that there are opportunities to express feelings, desires, needs, and moreover, the right to satisfy them. True, to this day such impulses are called a manifestation of selfishness (in fact, healthy selfishness is the key to a successful, self-realized and happy person, but now we are talking about something a little different). And this is how most relationships are built at the present time: A person has something doesn’t suit him - he’s silent. He wants it to be different, but he’s silent. He’s angry that everything is wrong - and he’s still silent. And this can go on for quite a long time. The situation is heating up. Irritation, anger, resentment multiply, spreading even to the most harmless situations - and all this grows like a snowball, more and more. And then the following happens: complaints begin to pour in (sometimes they appear immediately), and more often than not, they are completely irrelevant. Disappointments happen. Quarrels for any reason or without it. Silent slamming of doors. Attempts to take revenge by creating unpleasant situations. And endless demonstrations of the position “I’m not happy with everything, but I won’t say anything, and you can guess for yourself what I want.” The larger this snowball, the more difficult it is to figure it out and find the “snowflake” that started it all. This is how people often bring their relationships to painful conclusions - they get divorced, quit their jobs, break off friendships... Someone suffers and lives in their dissatisfaction, complaining about life, but not changing anything in it. But there are those who find the strength to do so to seek psychological help. There are also those who have enough self-motivation and the ability to channel their patience into long, frank conversations and changes. And these people have understood what is required for sincere, deep and honest relationships. They know what is required - personal sincerity, deep openness and honesty! It requires the ability to understand your feelings and distinguish what they are about. Understand and voice your desires and needs, as well as hear and accept the desires and needs of your partner. Learn to voice them not in the form of complaints, which is the easiest way to do this, but to think about what is being said and how it is pronounced. Yes, it’s not easy to learn this, it’s not easy to realize the harmfulness of some of your life principles and replace them with useful ones. But how valuable it is to receive in return a close and trusting relationship - a relationship in which you are heard and in which you are heard. And how important it is to give the next generations (and therefore all of humanity) the opportunity to live happier. And this can only be done by changing yourself, because you can only share what you have..