Imagine this situation: a child goes out into the yard and sees a crowd of kids playing some kind of game with interest. Children's emotions are contagious, and our Hero also really wants to join the players. - Can I play with you? - he squeezes out timidly. - Do you know the rules? - the guys ask. - No.. - This game needs to be played like this:......(list the rules). Got it? - Got it. Our Hero will play exactly as long as he follows these same rules. And if he breaks it, then the cruel but fair children's team will come up with a punishment for him, or remove him from the game. I often ask my young Clients what their favorite game is. In response I hear: hide and seek, catch-up, football, and others. I ask, what are the rules there? Why are there rules in the game? How can you win the game? Is it possible to win if there are no rules or you don’t know them? These questions help the child realize that the rules, even the most unpleasant ones for him, are actually needed - for him to win. What is Life? Can Life be compared to a game? Here, just like in a game, you can win and become a successful, happy person, or lose and find yourself on the side of this road. And in Life, as in the game, there are rules. Who should introduce the child to these rules? I think this is the area of ​​parental competence. What do you think? Some parents may say that the rules limit the child's independence and initiative. Let's figure out if this is really so. Limitations are a natural need of a child. Judge for yourself, 9 months in the confined, cramped space of my mother’s tummy. But how much bliss and pleasure there is in this limitation! Then swaddling is also a kind of restriction. But it is precisely this limitation that allows the newly born little person to calm down, not cause harm to his health (since he still does not know how to control his hands, and can get in his eye, for example), and even helps him fall asleep. Limitation calms and relieves the child's anxiety. Makes his life safer, clearer, simpler. As the child gets older, the restrictions simply change: you can’t put your finger in a socket, you can’t cross the road when the color is red, you can’t watch cartoons from morning to evening, you can’t eat chips every day. It is important to understand that Rules and Restrictions are not the same thing. Restrictions are a kind of prohibition (“You can’t!”). The rules should be based on reasonable restrictions, but be some kind of hints: if this is not possible, then how can it be done. For example: “You can’t eat on the floor!” - this is a limitation. “The whole family should eat at the same table” - this is the Rule. What are the consequences for a child if there are no rules? Let's imagine for a second how would you play a game if there were no rules? In this case, you can not play it at all, or play it the way you want: for example, jump on all the squares, take all the chips for yourself, knock your opponents off the board... and even proclaim yourself in charge! But will those who play with you like it? If there are no rules in the family, and the child is allowed to do whatever he wants, then how fair will it be to punish him for doing something wrong? And how will a child feel if he was punished for something he didn’t even know about? He will feel hurt and may even become very angry with his parents. It turns out that they were tried to the fullest extent of the law, but they were not initially familiarized with the criminal code.