This text was conceived a long time ago. At first I wanted to write it for my students and colleagues who avoid turning to a psychologist or psychotherapist, even if they need it. Then I thought about writing a text to attract potential clients and for my friends (to explain what I do). I even got something like this. At the time of writing, the text was as sincere as possible. But now I look at what came out, and I understand how one-sided everything that was said is. On the one hand, because of the tasks set then. On the other hand, over the past year I have taken a new look at my life and psychological practice and overestimated much of it, and the old text does not reflect my current views. The desire to write this text remains, but now I am writing it, first of all, for myself and my professional part, as part of the reflection of my own experience. I will be glad if this text is useful to someone. So why do I go to a psychotherapist? I spend 1 hour a week and some money, more and more every year, for five years now. That is, it is clear why - for the same reason that many generally prosperous people in the Western Hemisphere: “the crocodile is not caught - the coconut does not grow”, “henna-henna, I want to get in your arms”, “doctor, they don’t notice me”, etc. But Why? If you think about it, I came to the first meeting to improve myself. Firstly, a certain number of hours with a regular therapist is a necessary condition for certification in Gestalt therapy, and, as far as I know, in a number of other areas of helping practices. Secondly, I really wanted to be effective in everything. “Efficiency” - at that time was the best word to express the question that haunted me day and night and did not let me sleep in the literal sense: “how to become better with an eye on the best?” This question embodied all my expectations from therapy. As a result, I wanted to become a good housewife, wife, good psychologist, teacher, Gestalt therapist, poet, writer, friend, good person, finally. Yes, at least by whom, the main thing is to be good and with an eye on the best. The slightest deviations from this path were perceived by me as “symptoms” and “cockroaches” that needed to be overcome and exterminated in the name of efficiency. Therapy for me was like an arena: in the red corner of the ring - me, in the left corner of the ring... also me, and the therapist was an impartial referee. Although I would really like him to become a coach and teach me how to deal with the imperfect me. By the way, I have achieved a lot: I resolved a number of problems in my relationship with work and finally understood what I want to do and what I do better and what worse; I regained the thrill of traveling, including solo travel; I fell in love with and accepted the types of creativity available to me; I found, tested and designed several interesting developmental practices and even gained a fair amount of weight. I think I’m not the first and not the last who came to a psychologist to improve themselves, although, let’s be honest, more often than not they go to trainings with this question. I am very glad that I chose this path - because in addition to all the external successes, I have a sense of who I am and the courage to change. If self-improvement is about relationships with yourself, then the next heap of questions that fell on me concerned relationships with others people. How to understand a person? How to build a relationship with him, while not forgetting about yourself and your needs? How can I be myself, realizing that everyone runs away in horror of me as I am? And if not all, then what to do with the rest? But how to deal with raging desires and feelings: hide, show, and, if you suddenly show, how, and most importantly, why? And then, in the same office, I found not just a referee, but a living person, a relationship with whom I had already built somewhere, and somewhere I continued to build and on whom I could train. “Better train with psychotherapists” is my motto and main request at that time. Then I would really like the psychotherapist to become my mother, friend, partner and through.