How to increase your own self-esteem? If you want to avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing and be nothing. If you are reading this article, then it is just for you - you tend to underestimate your self-esteem. For many people, self-esteem is unstable; it depends on situations of success and failure. But if you focus only on the opinions of others, your self-esteem will always suffer, since others evaluate us differently. Normally, self-esteem, according to psychologists, should be slightly inflated. So, self-esteem is an individual’s assessment of himself, his capabilities, qualities and place among other people. This is one of the most important regulators of individual behavior. It is low self-esteem that often sets false goals for a person, but does not allow true ones to be realized and realized. The discrepancy between the real self and the ideal self (the belief of what I should be) leads to feelings of inferiority. Now think about why you think you SHOULD be such and such? Are you claiming to be the Perfect Buddha? Nobody's perfect. No one is wiser than others. You don't owe anyone anything in this life (except for your children and parents). It is natural for humans to make mistakes. Why be the 1st, the best in everything? What will this change in the world? The desire for superiority is a neurotic symptom. A neurotic person strives for superiority and dominance over others, a healthy person strives to surpass himself, this is personal growth and development. You exist - and that's wonderful. You are not perfect. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. Have the courage to be imperfect. To be able to lose with dignity is much more difficult. A psychologically healthy individual, according to Alfred Adler, is one who wants to devote himself to life and life's tasks. He has his place, he has adequate self-esteem. He has a firm knowledge that, despite his imperfections, he can be in demand by others. First of all, he rejects the false values ​​imposed by his culture and tries to replace them with true values. Such a person does not exist. This is just an ideal created by Adler. The goal is not to get closer to the ideal, but to turn big mistakes into small ones. "Don't be afraid to achieve perfection - you won't succeed anyway." So, what do you need to do to improve your self-esteem? You need:1. Accept yourself and love yourself. Love yourself just like that, without any conditions.2. Stop evaluating yourself, respect your personality, respect your desires and needs.3. Firmly believe in the statement “I am the master of my thoughts, emotions and actions.”4. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and others. Life doesn't have to give us what we want.5. Learn from your mistakes, failures help us solve other problems.6. Stop making excuses to others. “Never make excuses - your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.”7. All your goals should be at the desirability level. Directed attention is enough to achieve. There is no need for unnecessary tension.8. And the main thing is to act. I hope these recommendations will help you gain confidence in your abilities. If you cannot cope with this task on your own, contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. There are special techniques and exercises. Shadina Marina Evgenievna. Psychologist. Psychotherapist.