From the author: In this article I described how I understand what a healthy relationship is and its criteria. I was asked several times in consultations what a healthy relationship between people is. I promised to write, enthusiastically sat down at the computer and discovered that I currently do not have a clear answer to all questions about healthy relationships. But really, how to clearly define a healthy relationship now, but now not. Where to get it and what clear criteria can be used to describe a healthy relationship. However, then I remembered that even such a scientific discipline as health psychology does not have clear, universally accepted criteria, I relaxed and sat down to write how I understand these very healthy relationships. And so, what is a healthy relationship? I'll try to formulate my definition. A healthy relationship is a process of mutual satisfaction of the desires of 2 individuals, taking into account the fact that they regularly agree on mutual use of each other on the terms of mutual enrichment and development. Let's now look at this definition point by point. I'll start with individuals. Relationships, healthy relationships, are built only by individuals, that is, two people independent of each other. And here I would like to make the following remark. I think it is important to highlight two possible poles of interactions between partners. This is dependence and attachment. Dependence is expressed in the following statement - I can’t live without you. When one of the partners really cannot live without the other. Psychologically, physically, no matter how, he can’t. This, in my opinion, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship because, firstly, it is a big burden on the one they cannot live without and, secondly, it is a place for various kinds of unhealthy manipulations to flourish. Attachment is when, in principle, I can live without you, but I choose (and not once and for all, but regularly) to live with you. This, in my opinion, is about healthy relationships. When both partners simply prefer each other to other people and loneliness. Here, of course, there is fear that the partner will one day prefer another, but that’s what the pike is for, so that the cancer does not sleep. Next is the mutual satisfaction of desires. The needs of a couple must be met by both partners. One by one, in parallel, sequentially, it doesn’t matter how they agree, but they must be satisfied. We go into relationships to satisfy our needs. We are, after all, herd creatures and we cannot satisfy all our needs alone. Yes, it doesn’t sound very romantic, but I think it’s quite pragmatic. Then a healthy relationship is one where both partners fully satisfy their needs and both are happy with this fact. Yes, not all desires can be satisfied in a couple. Then, with the consent of the partner, one satisfies somewhere else and returns satisfied again to the partner. For example, a vacation in the mountains is important for one person, but unacceptable for another. Then one goes with friends to the mountains, and then returns home. And both partners are happy. And here we smoothly move on to another important point - the possibility of reaching agreement in the relationship. We are very different people and, accordingly, difficulties are possible and, I would even say, inevitable, in the process of developing agreements. This cannot be avoided, no matter how great everything was at the beginning of the relationship. For me, it’s more like a statement - we never quarrel, an alarming note for the relationship, something is being hushed up by each other. I also don’t believe that it is possible to reach an agreement once and for all; more precisely, it is possible, but it will be quite reckless, since time will pass, conditions may change and by that time the agreement may no longer work. Therefore, it is important for a couple to learn to agree on mutual satisfaction of needs, and regularly. If you have such a skill, any difficulty will be overcome in such a relationship. If not, then sooner or later a moment will come when the couple reaches a dead end and gets bogged down in mutual reproaches. Further mutual enrichment and!