The last chance to survive in an unbearable situation is to take the side of the Strong, the Aggressor. I was beaten with a belt, scolded, scared to be sent to an orphanage, to a policeman, to a scary old aunt. And they did the right thing! I was an overly active, wayward, stubborn child. Thanks to this pedagogy, I grew up as a Man! Decent, intelligent, well-mannered! A person directs all his strength to whitewash and justify the Aggressor: “He wanted the best! Good! Happiness!” Also, the resource goes to reject, devalue, displace oneself: “What difference does it make what I felt there? Why everything should they revolve around my desires? Why listen to me, understand me, recognize me? I’m bad, I’m to blame, I see negativity everywhere, I need to heal and improve my communication skills, I see violations of my boundaries everywhere. I just depend a lot on external opinion, I’m too sensitive. And this is a pathology! We are free people, a person can say what he wants, but the fact that I don’t like it means I’m childish and codependent. to eat soup for the hundredth time, even though they know that I don’t like it, it means they love me! .I just don’t need to make myself dependent on other people’s opinions... And raise my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-trust! If I am truly a self-sufficient person, no one’s opinion will hurt me, otherwise I am an undertreated weakling! We must learn to respect the freedom of others to speak out and their right to be heard, even if they give me recommendations without asking, ask intimate questions, hang on my ears for hours, call me names and humiliate me to my face. I am the author of my life! Let them come to my house without an invitation, give incorrect advice, I am an indestructible rock! I make decisions in my life! I am responsible for my feelings! After all, the more aggressively and irritably I react when they send me around and throw shit at me, the more childish, self-centered I am, and I don’t accept myself. Everything is in me!" This is how a person hypnotizes himself, convinces himself so as not to enter into direct confrontation with the Aggressor - external or internal. There is an active rejection of his emotions, needs, desires, rights. Psychological terms are used to justify the Aggressor and belittle himself. As a result the person himself becomes an Aggressor in relation to himself and others. Why is the psychological defense “identification with the aggressor” so strong? Because it once helped a person to survive. But now it does not allow him to look at reality directly, without distortion. And sometimes the time comes that. call shit shit, not spirits. And in what form have you encountered this defense? In what wording and behavior??