From the author: An article about the role self-acceptance plays in communication, and how you can begin to learn to accept yourself through communication with other people. What determines whether it will be possible to build a harmonious relationship with another person, how close and trusting it will be? Many psychologists agree that this mainly depends on the level of acceptance - of oneself and of others. Today there is a lot of talk about acceptance. What does it actually mean to accept yourself or another person? To accept a person means to agree with who he is. True, there is some difference between accepting oneself and accepting another. Accepting another is akin to accepting winter or spring, rain or snow. Yes, it could have been different, but it snows here in winter. Don't like the climate? You can move... Or you can stay and enjoy the snow and everything it brings with it - skates, skis, snowmobiles, slides, ice towns, snowballs, snowmen and sparkles under the evening lights. Self-acceptance is a fine line between unconstructive self-criticism and self-satisfaction. Acceptance does not equal complete satisfaction with who I am, physically or spiritually. After all, total self-satisfaction would make any development, any desire for personal growth impossible. No, the one who accepts himself sees his shortcomings, his weaknesses, and looks at them. He understands: I can’t change this at all, but I can change my attitude towards it; but this doesn’t suit me and with this I can probably do this and that. One could say that self-acceptance does not apply to relationships. However, it applies, and how. After all, we are designed in such a way that we see others through the prism of our own content. And if we don’t like something about ourselves... Guessed it? We will definitely find, see, discover, dig up and get it in another. And this is the right step away from a harmonious relationship, and not towards it. Try to observe how you communicate for a week. Even one week is enough to be convinced of this. With those whom you accept without judging, relationships are built simpler, easier, more sincere. With those in whom I would like to change or redo something, something is sure to not go well. Starting to notice and celebrate this is the first step towards forming and developing the skill of acceptance... Yes, perhaps I’m not afraid of this word - “skill”. Accepting others is like reading, dancing, or twirling a hula hoop. Didn't work the first time? It won't work 20 more times. True, now most of us have already forgotten - what is it like to learn to read? Let's read! Great read! And once they didn’t know the letters, and then they read only syllables... Do you understand what I mean? The next step on the path to gaining acceptance is a little more difficult. It lies in accepting the simple axiom that we do not want to accept in people what we do not accept in ourselves. What does this give? Firstly, there are almost limitless opportunities for self-knowledge and self-development. Don't like conflict in others? Give yourself time to think about it. Are you, by any chance, conflicted? If you do not conflict with anyone, this does not mean that you are conflict-free. Perhaps you simply do not allow yourself to enter into conflicts for the sake of decency? A good upbringing not only helps us to perform successful actions in society, it also allows us to hide things... including from ourselves. Maybe conflict-freeness is just a mask? So, here’s what you can take as the first steps towards gaining Acceptance: 1. analyze what exactly you don’t accept in your communication partner, 2. admit that this is exactly what you criticize in yourself, 3. remember when this quality manifested itself in you or when someone pointed it out to you. This simple exercise will help you see and understand the origins of some problems in communication, and will also allow you to begin to develop the skill of acceptance. This skill is worth some effort! After all, it is he who is the golden key to harmonious, warm and sincere relationships.