#Path_to_oneself 😟 Every person faces anxiety. But can everyone cope with it?📍“I’m worried what people will think”📍“If I don’t constantly wash my hands, I could get some kind of infection”📍“My daughter doesn’t understand me, I can’t get through to her” 📍“What if the doctors are wrong and my child is really sick?”📍“I’ll never drive again, it’s dangerous.”📍“There’s no place for me in this world, no one will understand me.”📍“What’s wrong with me? Why do I have homosexual thoughts?”📍“I’m afraid to be myself, to say what I think.”📍“I have to be strong, the whole family is counting on me”...📃 These are just a few of the anxious attitudes that I constantly hear in the counseling process. And each of them triggers an anxious state, from which it is not so easy to get out. What happens in the mind with an anxious attitude? When a person first has an exciting thought, the first thing our brain does is turn on the alarm signal - “Attention! Danger!". Then he assesses the level of threat (naturally, subjectively and based on an emotional reaction). The autonomic system immediately turns on: your pulse quickens, your blood pressure rises or falls, sweating increases, and you begin to act somehow to feel safe from the threat. Everything seems logical. However, our brain throws us one trap - it not only assesses the threat, but also tries to predict the possible outcome, and its worst option. And he explains this by being prepared for the worst. Bam - and you are caught in a vicious circle of anxiety. Because if your brain is fixated on a constant threat, and predicting bad things is a constant threat, then you will chronically prepare, fail and act like a victim - a victim. And instead of thinking through ways to achieve victory, you will think through options for defense, which means you will be in chronic anxiety and experiencing dark thoughts.❓Why does this happen? One of the reasons is defensive behavior. Its goal is to reduce the level of fear and protect against unpleasant circumstances that cause anxiety. This behavior temporarily dulls the sense of danger, but only in the short term. The problem with defensive behavior is that, firstly, it doesn’t teach you anything, and secondly, it supports and aggravates worry and anxiety. So, what are the strategies of defensive behavior: 1 - Avoidance. The most insidious, in my opinion, strategy. And that's why. Alas, it often happens that avoiding one fear leads to another. For example, many fears are replaced by the fear of a fatal illness: – I’m afraid to develop professionally, because the child is terminally ill – avoiding possible professional failure in searching for diseases in the child and treating the child... - I can’t propose and get married because my mother is seriously ill - avoiding responsibility for my family and possible problems in monitoring my mother’s health, her blood pressure, taking pills... - I don’t take care of the child because I am terminally ill - avoiding educational moments with the child and fear of possible mistakes in searching for symptoms of terrible incurable diseases, and so on. 2 – Seeking support It’s normal to find out the opinions of other people. But when this becomes excessive and exclusively under certain circumstances, this is a sign of defensive behavior. For example, a young man cannot propose to a girl. He has already consulted with all his relatives and found out the opinion of all his friends, but every time he thinks: “That’s it, tomorrow I’ll propose to her!” - He immediately starts calling everyone again and asking again. Tell new details of the relationship, ask to evaluate the girl in this situation, and so on. 3️ - Detachment There are two options here - either pretend that nothing is happening, or suddenly do something else pleasant. For example, you need to do homework with the child, but Instead, dad sits down to play a computer game, or turns on football, or jokes, “Oh, how much you can study. I'm in!