A common request at work An elderly parent constantly talks about his health, gets angry if his adult children get tired of it. Adult children cannot be in this field all the time. The relationship is deteriorating; my mother doesn’t talk about anything except her ailments; she transfers everything there; she no longer has the strength to listen to this; my father calls every day and complains about where and what hurts him, and demands that I listen to this; my mother has already bothered all the doctors, and me too, with her ideas about illnesses, looking for what’s wrong with her, and wants us to join the whole family too. Dad regularly asks for money for miracle cures for anything - as soon as he sees an advertisement, he decides that it hurts him and needs to be treated urgently. It’s impossible to explain sensibly, he makes a row and says that we are waiting for him to die from a sore The situation is not easy In old age, not all people have something to do with themselves other than closely monitoring their not the most fun process of aging. This is often accompanied by organic brain lesions, both focal and and diffuse. With certain lesions, critical thinking and cognitive abilities, as well as a person’s emotional regulation, may suffer. Older people are often more suggestible and at the same time gullible and suspicious than we can imagine by looking at ourselves. In old age, anxiety disorders and other things that affect the picture of the world are also diagnosed elderly person In this article we do not discuss the situation when elderly people are abandoned, they are not given attention, there are no attempts to switch them to common family ones and they are completely excluded from the family system. In these cases, the roots of the problem are different (The first thing that is important to do is to show mom or dad to a neurologist and, possibly, a psychiatrist. To exclude or confirm possible diagnoses. Perhaps drug support is needed to reduce the severity of the situation. When the medical part has been sorted out, you can proceed further. What to do yourself to stop living in a parent’s medical record Switch the elderly person’s attention from his illnesses to somewhere else If there is anxiety, it will still be there, you can’t get rid of it - so all that remains is to let it go in a more peaceful direction Usually to switch the elderly person from health to grandchildren, hobbies and what - it’s still quite difficult. This is perceived as an insult and neglect. Conclusion - for now we switch to himself. But not the Disease, but to Health. And we localize attention there. This is a piece of jewelry, little by little we begin to note - directly in words - what your parent does well for health. These may be tiny things against the background of what you hear in the stream of words, but we hold on to them as a lifeline - both yours and the elderly person. We direct our attention and the Person’s to the good, the right in caring for health. And it’s definitely there, but sometimes you have to look at it with a magnifying glass)) It sounds strange, but it works. Mom, when I told her that she was doing great, that she was taking the pills according to the regimen and that everything would be better for her heart, I was surprised. I asked her to regularly show me how great she is at it. She said that only with her discipline can she prolong the health of her heart. Not immediately, but after a month, my mother began to talk about heart health, and not about heart disease. There was less whining. And I somehow felt more cheerful, and she turned pink. I told my father that he was a serious person, and would be able to deal with fools who were not interested in his health, but needed his money. We have developed a scheme to combat fools. Now he watches advertising, but in order to tell his friends that this is nonsense and there is no point in being fooled. And he himself drinks what the doctor prescribed, and admonishes his friends. Busy and very proud of himself. Reports to me) It’s difficult, but we’ve moved a little. Mom still bothers doctors, but I have fewer visits. We discuss with her how she takes care of herself and how long she will live. I won’t say that it’s easy, but it’s still better than hearing about funeral forecasts every day. They even made a joke here that