Often people turn to me with the question: “Is it worth forgiving betrayal?” First, I would like to note that if you ask yourself or others this question, then you have already forgiven. If a person cannot forgive betrayal, is not ready to continue living with a person for whom he is not the only one, then he will not ask such questions. For him, forgiveness is impossible, and no circumstances (children, joint property, etc.) can force him to forget and “forgive” the fact of betrayal. Those who have already forgiven are waiting for the support of others. Often a person faced with a partner’s betrayal, ready to forgive and accept him, are worried about the following questions: Will I be able to forget about this incident? Will this continue? Perhaps he/she doesn’t love me anymore? Something doesn’t suit him/her about me, I’m not (sexual) enough , attentive to your partner, caring)? By immersing yourself in such thoughts and your own experiences, you lose sight of the most important question: “Why did the betrayal happen?” I would like to identify the most common reasons for cheating: 1. Lack of sexual intimacy with a regular partner is perhaps one of the most common reasons for cheating. Sex in a relationship is not only a physiological need, but also an indicator of the psychological harmony of partners. Refusal (complete or partial) in sexual intimacy can be regarded by a partner as rejection, recognition of his sexual unattractiveness, and failure as a sexual partner. This often leads to a decrease in the level of self-esteem, and, as a result, to an ever-increasing desire to feel attractive and desirable. 2. Fatigue from the role we occupy in relationships. In every relationship, we tend to adhere to one or another role, from which we sooner or later get tired. An exemplary homemaker sometimes wants to relieve herself of the burden of responsibility for everything, become a little girl, and feel someone’s care. And a man who is often attacked by his wife, listening to her complaints and insults day after day, may want to feel “macho”, to feel strong and self-confident. Since changing roles within an existing relationship is quite difficult, it requires a high degree of trust and the ability to talk about one’s needs with a partner, partners are more often ready to cheat or look for a new relationship than to try to change anything in an existing relationship. 3. Lack of emotional warmth and trust in relationships. This is probably the most “dangerous” reason for betrayal. If a person feels lonely and misunderstood in a relationship, does not feel attention and emotional warmth from a partner, then having found this in a new relationship, he is unlikely to return to the previous ones. 4. The desire to assert oneself. We often confuse the desire to feel desired/wanted, to win new victories on the love front with polygamy, but in fact, this is how a person tries to assert oneself, to raise one’s own self-esteem. Unfortunately, most often, having learned about the betrayal of their life partner, seeing his feelings of guilt, repentance and desire to preserve the relationship, the other half turns into a domestic tyrant, endlessly reminding them of the betrayal, throwing tantrums and scandals. This most often happens unconsciously, thus taking out resentment and anger on the partner, but, as you understand, such a relationship cannot last long. Do not forget that every person strives for a comfortable relationship in which he is loved and appreciated. And betrayal is not a motive for starting any changes in a relationship; it is, most often, the result of the absence of these changes, partners ignoring each other’s feelings and needs. If both partners sincerely strive to maintain the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is worth understanding the reason for the betrayal, understanding what the partner is not happy with, and working together to try to change it. If difficulties arise in discussing this situation, as well as to work through negative feelings towards your partner, it is advisable to contact a family psychologist. Remember that a healthy relationship.