From the author: In psychotherapy, the topic of anger and aggression is not uncommon. Is there a difference between them and how are they related? What is their nature? It is necessary to distinguish anger from aggression. Anger is a feeling, a reaction to contact with the outside world in case of violation of your personal boundaries or dissatisfaction of your own desires. Anger is an internal experience that can be expressed by gestures, facial expressions or words: “I’m angry!”, “I’m angry when...”. And this is the “healthiest” way of expressing anger. The verbal expression of anger indicates that a person is aware of this feeling in himself and points to the external (or internal - you can be angry with yourself) reason for this anger. Anger is a natural feeling, characteristic of all living things; it shows others the dissatisfaction caused to an angry person. Anger is an intensified feeling of anger, has an affective nature, more short-term in its effects than anger. Aggression is not a feeling, but an action aimed at achieving a personal goal, interests, and defending one’s own boundaries. Insulting someone, giving an offensive assessment, beating, throwing, yelling at someone, destroying, killing - these are manifestations of aggression. Just like aggression is “an eye for an eye” - revenge and physical protection of one’s interests or the interests of loved ones. Anger and aggression are inherent in us by nature. From a biological point of view, they are adaptive in nature - protecting their interests for the sake of survival, responding to a threat. The child does not make a “pause” between anger and aggression; anger is instantly realized by him in an aggressive impulse: he comes up and bites, hits him on the head with a scoop, throws and breaks a toy. At the same time, parents very often “forbid” both anger and aggressive behavior, without separating them, without helping the child understand that he was angry (it is possible to be angry) and hurt another - this cannot be done. It is important to teach a child to be angry: to say so, to stomp your foot, but not to violate the boundaries of another person with an aggressive action. ANY CHOICE HAS CONSEQUENCES - and it is important that the child learns this rule. What feelings can cause anger and aggression? These are feelings of helplessness, envy, fear, guilt, shame and others - a whole set of negative experiences. Positive feelings (normally) do not cause anger, because they are not a threat to security, self-esteem, or personal interests. With the help of aggression, a person creates his own world, changing the environment “to suit himself” (as opposed to adapting to the environment). With the help of aggression, a person learns about his own boundaries and the boundaries of other people. Aggression is an internal force that can be not only destructive, but also creative if aggressive impulses are recognized and controlled. But this is the result of a conscious approach to realizing one’s feelings through actions. This distinguishes a person from an animal; animals are not able to restrain their aggression. Author of the article: Galina Shchetinina