Parents are ordinary people. Grown up children. They didn't learn what to do when you become a parent. With the birth of a child, they are suddenly bombarded with a huge number of new tasks, but the previous life tasks do not disappear. Moreover, with each child the tasks are new again, a completely new person is born, with new characteristics, inclinations, completely new and again different from all people. And parents have to cope with this newness twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Therefore, parents do what they can and cope as best they can. The child’s characteristics - inclinations, talents, inclinations - for their manifestation require close attention from the parents, from those , who is closer and constantly nearby. But the powers of parents are not limitless. Their dreams of quiet, obedient children are justified. The knowledge of how not to kill yourself while growing a new person - this knowledge was not taught to them anywhere. Absolutely nowhere. Although this would be a vitally useful science. And so our parents, may the forces be with them, convey to the child how they themselves see this world and what they want to teach the child. But. There are no ideal people and therefore the child constantly receives contradictory messages from his parents information. In words, he learns that he must be obedient. In fact, one obedience may contradict other obediences. He sees a third thing around him. The parents themselves, who have to educate, and work, and resolve relationships, and much more, often say one thing, but at the same time think about something else, since there are many tasks. And children, they are like an X-ray machine, read this instantly in the direction of their attitude towards themselves. Non-verbal messages, movements, actions, facial expressions - all this is read by the child and he absorbs this stronger than any words, rules and persuasion. As a result, the child is “informationally saturated” not with what we would like or do not want him to be saturated with. And to everyone who notices. And he notices a lot more than we do. Let's try to sum up the intermediate results. The child reads facial expressions and actions. And the parent may be tired, angry from personal worries, irritated from work. And the child reads all this to himself. Nothing can be done. So it is. Yes, it is important to talk with children, to be able to tell them about yourself. With children of any age, it just seems to us that the little ones don’t understand. What should parents do? See every child as a special person! Separate. New. Special. Find time to observe and consider, study how and what you like and what you don’t like. Look for compromises between what is useful and what is desirable, between rules and inclinations. Is it difficult? It's terribly difficult. You can minimally see a special person in a child. Try to stop seeing him as part of yourself. A copy of your grandfather or aunt. Try to stop growing what mom or dad wants. Observe. Then we have a better chance of getting closer to our children. Get to know them as they are. Hear about their fantasies, see what is happening through their eyes. And understand a little, touch their special world. Special for every person. Each child has something special. Why was it not necessary to do this before? Gave birth. Fed. I sent him to kindergarten or nursery. Rest, parent. I wrote about this in previous articles. I wrote about how the world has changed and how our generational relationships have changed. But! But you don’t have to do any of this. Time will show. Personal choice of how to treat your children, of course, has not been canceled.