From the author: This article discusses two principles of change at once. They complement each other perfectly and I decided that it would be better to publish them together. Links to previous parts: Part 1: Part 2: Part 2: Today we will talk about the fourth and fifth principles of change. The fourth is called... The principle of “limiting choice” In fact, we will now talk not so much about limiting choice - but about choice as such. This topic is big and fertile, so... stock up on popcorn and get comfortable! Any conscious change involves choosing one thing and abandoning another. It's unavoidable. If we choose something, then we refuse something. [By the way, one of the hallmarks of a neurotic is the reluctance to acknowledge this obvious fact. A neurotic person tries not to choose, but to combine everything in one. Sometimes even the most unthinkable categories (love/hate, absolute success in all areas of life, earning a lot, but not putting in any effort, etc.). To put it simply: a neurotic tries to get everything at once, even if this violates the laws of the universe))] We live in an amazing era when the possibilities of choice are almost unlimited. You can become anything you want. This is what we are told as children. You can get anything you want. This is exactly what they tell us on TV. And sometimes, it seems to me that the reality around us is beginning to look more and more like a supermarket. The shelves are bursting with an abundance of “goods.” You just choose... And that's where the problems begin! The very possibility of choice complicates the decision-making process. The more possibilities/options you have, the more difficult it is to make a choice. The complexity of choice stems from the underdevelopment of the mental function responsible for the distribution of priorities. [I will make a reservation that this function is a pure abstraction and explanatory principle.] A person who does not understand/feel his needs well is - cannot determine... and here we come to the fifth principle: The principle of “what is important?” A person who does not understand/feels his needs well cannot determine what is important to him. What matters and what does not. What can be refused, and what you shouldn’t refuse.[Many clients say that they cannot refuse something, while forgetting that choosing one automatically means refusing another! They've done this hundreds of times already. They refused. It's just not said out loud. It’s just that the very fact of refusal is not realized.] Naturally, everyone has their own concept of “importance,” BUT since we are working in the context of personality changes, let me formulate the following definition: What is important is what contributes to our changes/growth. “/” - this the sign today just burns)) – author’s note. I would strongly advise each of us to often ask the question “how important is what I am doing now?” Right now, look at yourself from the outside and ask: “Is this important?” [How can one not remember the “Pareto principle”. I don't want to waste space on it in this article, so just read the Wikipedia article] Most of what we do is completely unimportant. We can safely get rid of it. Throw it out of our lives. Moreover, the quality of life will not suffer. The fourth principle is the principle of “limiting choice” and the fifth is “what is important?” work perfectly together. Realize what is really important to you and eliminate the unimportant! Example: a situation from life - you want to read a book, but there are still a ton of other tabs open in the browser. News sites, social networks, a movie being downloaded... And all this steals your attention, time, and distracts you from reading the book you have chosen. You want to do everything at once, but the result turns out to be “not very good.” Close all unnecessary tabs and you will read the book! It’s the same in life - close all unnecessary tabs... Determine two or three important things to do for the next day..