Today I will offer some universal method for a number of fears and concerns when meeting people on the street. As promised earlier, we will talk about such fears: - for some reason the person we want to meet will laugh at us, for example , over our awkwardness; - the fear that suddenly the partner of the person we want to meet will appear, and some very unpleasant situation will arise, almost a fight, if not herself. We will also touch on the fear that we will find ourselves in some kind of then an awkward situation, that unwitting witnesses to our attempt to get to know each other will look at us somehow differently and we will be ashamed and embarrassed. I’ll start with the second, so as not to immediately reveal the main method, I’ll keep the intrigue for now) In general, you have often seen and heard about some kind of direct fights or violent scandals? I've never seen or heard of it. I think it depends on the social environment, perhaps on the region (?). Probably, somewhere you really shouldn’t approach someone like that on the street. But this must be justified and, so to speak, documented, and not simply based on our wild imagination. In general, if someone shows dissatisfaction, then you can level it out by telling the person what a good choice he made, that this is the kind of attention his partner enjoys and therefore has great value in the eyes of others, and ultimately apologize... Although, An apology can create the impression that we are to blame for something, but this is not the case, it is not our fault. We didn’t even know that a person already has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now let’s talk about the mentioned universal method. If we talk about the first and third fears, then there have already been opinions about the fear of evaluation and that you don’t need to be perfect, you can allow yourself to be imperfect, accept yourself as such. Fine! How to do this? That's how! And this is suitable for all three fears. I have already talked about this method earlier in my materials, but now I will turn it from a slightly different angle. It is important to find your anger, in its positive aspect, the opportunity to influence the situation, defend yourself, influence the situation. Do you remember when you could defend your opinion and defended it, emerged victorious from an argument, a confrontation, could effectively object to another, put him in his place, and so on? This is what I'm talking about. Indeed, in the fears described, we turn out to be rather weak-willed objects of influence. But we can influence too! Why are we afraid? After all, they can be afraid of us too! If about the fear of a fight, a scandal? Where is our strength? Can we stand up for ourselves, if not in action, then in word? If they laugh at our awkwardness, so what? We do something, and it’s easier to laugh and devalue than to understand and see something positive. We are morally stronger here and the truth is, so to speak, on our side! If we talk about the fear of evaluation from the person we meet, or from the people around us (someone will just look the wrong way or something like that). Why are we the only ones being judged? We can evaluate too. Why do they (we think) rate our healthy, natural desire to get to know each other poorly? Don’t they themselves have problems with this then (of course, these are all our projections, but still...)? Shouldn't they go to hell with their views or opinions, if it prevents us from living, prevents us from being free, prevents us from doing a good and important thing, thanks to which humanity is still alive? It may seem rude to you, but it is an example of finding our own strength, healthy anger, without which many areas in life, not just dating, may be closed to us. Perhaps you will say that devaluing others is wrong, it is only a defense. If it helps you overcome something, then why not. This does not negate the fact that we understand that this is not a devaluation of real people, but only of our fantasies. And this does not negate the fact that we can respect people and treat them in such a way that we can understand their difficulties, their differences from us in their views on things, and so on. And protection becomes “bad” only when!