In the previous post (https://osin-denis.ru/infantilnost-primeta-sovremennosti) I talked about the reasons that give rise to infantilism. I recommend that you read it before moving on to this post. In it I’ll tell you how and why infantiles appear and what to do to prevent your child from growing up infantile. But before that, I’ll tell you what I see as the main task of a parent. In my opinion, the main task of a parent is to prepare a child for independent life. That is, to life without parents. Provide for yourself, make independent decisions, be responsible for your choices. Assess the prospects and risks of your decisions, try new things, doubt, think and act. This is the task of the parent - to teach all this. Well, now to infantilism. Let us remember the definitions: Infantilism is the preservation in the psyche and behavior of an adult of the characteristics inherent in childhood. This is a person’s mental immaturity, due to which in his behavior we can see manifestations of earlier age stages. Let’s try to figure out what features are inherent in childhood. This is lack of independence in decision-making and subsequent actions, dependence on adults and the demand for care and low assessment of risks, especially long-term ones. Infantilism can develop from completely different prerequisites. It appears both in a child who has been bullied and in a child who lives in a state of permissiveness. This is due to the fact that in both the first and second states the child does not develop the most important quality - independence. Here we move from the introduction to the main part of the note. The first thing a parent who wants his child to grow up needs to do is give the child independence. Important note (!): independence must be age-appropriate. If you want to give a two-year-old child the responsibility of providing for his own life, then nothing good will come of it. However, you can give even a small child the opportunity to make independent decisions. These decisions will simply be within certain limits. For example: what juice will he drink today or what porridge will he eat. Please note that it is not what he will eat - this is your responsibility as a parent for the proper nutrition of the child, but what kind of porridge the child will eat. This approach lays down two fundamental points: independent choice on the one hand and norms and boundaries on the other hand. As a child grows, his area of ​​independence and responsibility increases. The field in which responsibility can be given is enormous. These are all manifestations of life. What toy to buy, what color T-shirt to wear, what to choose for breakfast and lunch, etc. With the emergence of new areas of life - school, extracurricular activities and the growth of the child, the scope of his independence also increases. The task of the parent is to gradually transfer responsibility to the child for various areas of his life in order to prepare the child for an independent adult life. Ideally, by the end of school, a child should know and be able to do everything that may be useful to him in life. From cleaning the apartment to organizing your day, week, month. Independence must necessarily be associated with responsibility. Responsibility is recognizing oneself as the cause of what happens. For example, if a child chooses to try peach juice instead of his favorite apple juice, then he drinks peach juice. Or he doesn't drink. And you, as parents, tell him that this is a choice. It was his own choice that he did not like now. But that’s why choice exists, to try new things and understand whether you like it or not. Or an older child, after it has been agreed that he irons his own things, suddenly realizes that he needs to go out, but his shirt/blouse has not been ironed. It is incorrect behavior for a parent to rush to stroke a child’s item. The right thing is to give the child a choice: iron now and be late, or put on something else, or wear this, but wrinkled. It's not easy for parents. But the task is not such that it would be easy for parents. The task is to teach).