From the author: The article was written on the occasion of real work with a client. Permission was received from the client to publish part of the personal story. Cinderella and the parental scenario Tanyusha was good, there was no more beautiful woman in the village, A red frilly sundress on the white hem. Tanya walks behind the fence by the ravine in the evening. The moon in the cloudy fog plays with the clouds. A guy came out and bowed his curly head: “Farewell, my joy, I’ll marry someone else.” She turned pale like a shroud, cold like dew. Her braid developed like a soul-destroyer-snake... (c) S. Yesenin I’ll call her Tanya. Tanya, a beautiful young woman, was cooling down after her second divorce. Blonde, big eyes with long eyelashes, regular facial features. The image was a little reminiscent of an eighteenth-century French woman - frills and ruffles, bows, heels. Just a doll. Ideal. And this doll managed to become unhappy in two marriages. The first husband, to whom she was officially married, was, like many, a warm-up option before “real” life. Tanya was perplexed how they even got married. Igor was an “eternal guy”, with an unformed idea of ​​​​a family and a complete reluctance to have children. Tanyusha did not grieve for long. Soon after the divorce, she met her second husband, about whom I heard many times afterwards: “He was the ideal man for me.” The “ideal man” was ten years older than Tanya, had a long marriage behind him, in which he had two children, a succession of novels and the “wind in the field” character. He was often away. Tanya knew for sure that her husband’s best friend constantly walked away from his wife, but her Vitya, of course, did not do this. Or more precisely, she preferred not to notice this - she did not ask where he disappeared, where he went and on what business, she trusted completely. A terrible blow for her was the reluctance of this husband to have children. She was already fantasizing about how they would get married and have a curly-haired angel when Victor said that he did not plan and did not want to burden himself with these worries. He flatly refused. And then Tanya found out that Victor was having an affair and a child was about to be born there. Her condition was terrifying, the betrayal completely destroyed her. She came to me broken by suffocating resentment and guilt. Well, resentment is understandable, but why guilt? - you ask. And you will be absolutely right. So I didn’t immediately understand how the wine got in there and where its legs came from. But, as it turned out, there is a source. Tanya got the impression that she was not good enough for Vitya: if only she had been different, done something differently, reacted differently... and the list goes on. She had the feeling that all the blame for such a choice of her husband lay solely on herself, and there was so much guilt that it was almost impossible to survive it. So she has to hide and hide her desires, to do only as the person close to her wants. “I don’t know what I’m like and what I want, I don’t understand,” Tanya said. And you can drown in this guilt and misunderstanding if you don’t know some facts of her biography. Tanya had a completely ideal, wonderful, supportive father. Father to all fathers. It's hard to even imagine better. The “perfect” father, in every way. And - a terrible, devaluing and blaming mother - not a mother, but a simple stepmother. In her relationship with her, Tanya constantly felt guilty about everything and could not say a word. And she didn’t even notice that her father did not stand up for her at these moments, did not separate where he was arguing with his mother on their personal issues, and where the child was involved in this. Tanya’s mother always blamed Tanya for the fact that her relationship with her father was not going well. Have you noticed how the parental scenario unfolded in her life? An obvious Cinderella with a caring father who could not protect her from her stepmother. An ideal man (father) belonging to this insidious alien woman (mother). Tanya's second husband, Victor, was older than her, almost old enough to be her father. And with him she could be a little girl, fulfill all his whims, because he is so kind and caring. It seems that such an idyll can continue indefinitely. Just who is she in this relationship? Wife or daughter? It was…