From the author: An important focus in working with emotional dependence. Codependency is often seen as the result of problematic relationships. Previously, it was talked about only as a disease of relatives of alcoholics and drug addicts. That is, about painful relationships with others. I suggest looking at this a little differently. Yes, codependency is a relationship problem. And it looks like a disease of broken relationships with someone else. In fact, this is a problem of relationships with oneself! And only then the Other appears in focus, on whom everything manifests itself. It is easy to assume that the basis is Dependence. The main symptom - uncontrolled subordination to a person, substance or process (gambling or sexual addiction, work). Instead of having a healthy relationship with yourself, you make something or someone else more important. Over time, all thoughts, feelings and actions revolve only around that person, activity or substance. You refuse to pay attention to your needs more and more often. In a word, you give up your relationship with yourself. To get rid of emotional dependence and recover, you need to turn 180 degrees. Break this sick pattern of behavior. Make yourself and your needs the most important thing in your life. Solve your problems, respect and value yourself. And act in Your interests. For recovery, you will have to gradually restore 4 very important qualities in yourself: Authenticity Authentic is a person who is aware of his experiences, feelings and desires. And he can sincerely, without pretense, express this in communication with people (and not only. Autonomy The “inner core” of a person. Independence. The ability to actively express one’s freedom of thought and choice. This allows a person to separate from others, acquire individuality. At the same time, remain true to one’s views, norms and values. The ability for intimacy is one of the most difficult concepts in psychology. This is the ability to be vulnerable in relationships, to overcome alienation with another person, to behave free from manipulation, sincerely, the ability to share what is meaningful without losing oneself, etc. Congruence and integration of values, thoughts, feelings and actions. One-pointedness of a person at one point in time. Opposite: I plan to live with Dasha, I think about Natasha, I love Marusya and I sleep with Antonina. Of course, getting out of codependency and restoring your world will not be easy. , time and effort. But if you have the desire, it is very real! I will tell you more about the 4 stages of recovery in the following articles..