From the author: The story of one brave and beautiful woman is described here, it is addressed, first of all, to those who are just about to walk this path. There is no need to be afraid, just boldly and calmly go towards your goal. The topic of having a child through in vitro fertilization (IVF) is quite sensitive. Not every mother will share her story, and she usually doesn’t have time to do so after giving birth. But I was lucky. One happy mom shared her story. And I am sharing with you, with those who are interested in it and with those for whom this topic is relevant, who are preparing to go through their own path to motherhood. EKOmiracle In the distant kingdom in the thirtieth kingdom there lived a prince - a red fellow. Bogatyr, a jack of all trades, protection and support for the royal family and his state. And he had a white-maned horse... All kinds of fairy tales are read to girls in childhood about princes on white horses. And these images settle deep in the heads of little beauties. And it seems that, having matured, they no longer become dreamers and storytellers, but still somewhere in the subconscious there remains a desire to find their own “prince.” Some wait year after year for him to knock on her door, others rush to search on their own. So I was no exception. I didn’t wait, but, as it always seemed to me, I was actively looking. But either she was looking in the wrong place, or she mistook those she met for someone other than the one she was expecting, and the years passed and nothing changed in life. Around me, friends, classmates, classmates were getting married, giving birth to children... Then, unexpectedly for me, one of them told me that his baby had already gone to kindergarten or already to school.. And for me everything went in the same circle.. Work, work, work... A few hours of sleep.. and some kind of emptiness in my soul, and disappointments ... The thought was constantly spinning in my head: “What’s wrong with me? What do you need to change in yourself so that a close and dear person will appear next to you?” And I tried to look for answers to these questions in a bunch of psychological trainings. People around me began to notice that I was changing, becoming more feminine and charming. However, this did not make me happy. I can’t complain that I was a gray mouse and no one noticed me. They got to know me and had a pleasant romantic relationship. But my companions were not ready to go further with me. Another breakup left a big and painful scratch on my heart, and the desire to completely put an end to trying to find my soul mate. But the habit of never giving up took its toll over time, I licked my wounds and hit the road for new happiness. Only every day I wanted to look for someone less and less, much less achieve... And more and more my eyes looked at the little toddlers... At these moments, my soul was filled with some kind of sharp pain, a feeling of inferiority. Well, how long can you run around looking for it?! After all, soon you will be in your fourth decade and becoming a mother will no longer be given by nature?! And like beacons began to flash around, dialogues with friends and acquaintances about the fact that some women are not expecting future fathers, take this issue into their own hands and go to the clinic. It turns out that in our time, “test tube babies” are already a real and accessible means for an ordinary woman to find her happiness. Of course, I read a lot, corresponded with many women on forums, finding out the details. There was a constant dialogue going on inside with parts “for” and “against”. After all, the Orthodox religion does not welcome the participation of medicine in the birth of a new person. More precisely, religion prohibits interfering with God's laws. And society has ambivalent views on this issue. However, that was the least of my concerns. I couldn’t answer the main question for myself, what will I tell my baby when he asks me: “Why don’t I have a dad? Where is he and did he really leave him? It turns out that the woman makes decisions not only for herself, but also for her baby. Isn't this selfish?! On the other hand, in our country there are many women who have failedfamilies and they raise their children themselves. The absence of dad is now, unfortunately, becoming normal. And it even happens that fathers themselves raise their children without wives. There are a lot of questions, but it’s impossible to answer them definitely. Eh.. The door closed once again, the men’s steps that had already become familiar faded down the stairs.. In my head, the cockroaches were preparing soap and strings, entangled in a heap of thoughts... And in my apartment the phone rang.. They called from the planning and reproduction clinic and offered to come for an appointment. It turns out that it was my turn, based on the note I left several years ago in the city of N during a business trip. A city hundreds of kilometers from our capital... I had several hours to think... Only to have time to buy a ticket and book a vacation at my own expense... For me at that moment it seemed like a sign from above. After all, really, how long can you wait?! Maybe my baby has already waited for me in heaven and is really looking forward to my warmth, love and everything that I saved up tender and fragile for him?! The road was long. The doctor saw me exactly at the appointed time. Then there were a bunch of procedures and tests that I don’t want to remember, because after them I was told: “Either make up your mind now, or you’ll have to wait a few more years, but then the chances are close to zero!” And at that moment all doubts disappeared. How can you think when there is at least a drop of hope of seeing your baby?! We urgently need to scrape the bottom of the barrel and raise all the savings so that we just have enough funds and everything works out! In my case it was truly a gamble. There is an unfinished mortgage, there seems to be work, but due to the crisis there are almost no projects and it is unknown what will happen next. And how everything will go with my bunch of sores is also doubtful... I took the first step and was already afraid to stagger even a little, because I could lose the path to happiness, which I had been waiting for for years. Anyone who has walked this path knows how difficult it is. First, you are pumped up like a balloon with hormones. At some point it already seems that you are not only not a woman, you are no longer a person. As a child, I often went to visit my grandmother, and she had an incubator at work where chicks were bred. Then it seemed like some kind of magic. He lays an egg, and after a while a small fluffy ball appears - a miracle that grows into a duck or chicken. Watching the miraculous transformation of a very small child, I didn’t even suspect how scared I would be, and also, to some extent, disgusted to feel like an incubator box. The doctor monitored the growth of follicles, adjusted the dose of hormones - increasing and increasing. Especially when you know that the probability of a positive outcome is low. After all, many go through this not even 3-5 times, but sometimes dozens. For myself, I calculated how much it would cost me 3-4 attempts, figured out how much work I needed to do and decided not to think about it anymore for now. As it will be, so it will be. I just talked to my future baby every night before bed so that he would remember that I was nearby and was really looking forward to him. Every evening, we had dialogues about how and what we would do together, where we would go, what we would learn and what we would see! On the 15th day, we collected follicles from the ovaries, and under anesthesia I didn’t feel anything. After the puncture there was an unpleasant nagging pain, but it was tolerable. The doctor said that there were 5 eggs and I was sent home. Then after 3 days there was a replanting. And the agonizing 14 days of waiting for the result. At such moments, doctors say that you need to live as usual and do everyday things. Believe me, this is impossible! In my case, I stewed within myself so as not to disturb my loved ones. It helped me in this situation that I flew to Greece and spent a tedious time swimming in the sea and gaining pleasant impressions from new observations and discoveries. I love traveling, but this was the most unusual experience I've ever had. During the journey and then, when I returned home, my body rebelled as best it could. I walked around wet as a mouse, the temperature periodically went through the roof, I wanted to sleep all the time, and when I got to the pillow, I fell into oblivion. After thisIt seemed that there would no longer be a positive result, that everything that could be burned out. At hour X I bought several packs of tests. I blushed, turned pale, my forehead was covered with small droplets, and my consciousness was confused. Meanwhile, all tests showed two stripes. I urgently ran and donated blood for hCG. And I checked my email every 30 seconds, waiting for a response. The analysis was also positive. The ultrasound after all this seemed like something fantastic. Hiking with friends who had previously expected a miracle, looking at photos and videos on the Internet turned out to be completely devoid of emotions. On the screen was my favorite pea, with whom I now just talked for days. I was sure that the baby heard me and would definitely stay with me. My most favorite person in the world, my sweet Bead! The body continued to rebel. The horror of bleeding and panic cannot be described in words. The threat of miscarriage - the words spoken by the emergency doctor seemed to have torn off something important inside. And then the hospital, several months of bed rest. Persuading the baby to stay with me. And enormous gratitude to the doctors who were able to help. At that moment, I was probably the most “obedient girl” in my entire life. I took everything by the hour - medications, food, walks. My mother is a gold medalist and an excellent student. She never had a single B. I was not able to study so brilliantly, but I always tried to excel in diversity and diversified development. In anticipation of a miracle, my “excellent student” woke up with triple strength. I really wanted the birth to be as gentle and comfortable as possible for the baby. As soon as the strict supervision of the doctors subsided and I began to go outside, my belly and I began going to water aerobics, lectures on preparing for childbirth, fitness for pregnant women, breathing exercises for women in labor and body therapy for a more complete understanding of our body. Poor baby in her belly, how long she had to work with her mother. After all, in addition to this, there was a busy work schedule of 12 hours and business trips with flights of 10-12 hours. She endured it steadfastly, occasionally tapping her foot or hiccupping after 11 pm. Still, she did not have the courage to endure all 9 months of my hyperactive preparation. And we were born a month earlier. If someone says that there are some other manifestations of happiness and euphoria. Don't believe it! The most beautiful thing is to finally, after a long wait, hold your sweet little bundle in your arms and see its face and attentively looking eyes. No 3D ultrasound can convey what you see with your own eyes. And sleepless nights seem the most pleasant, because the most important thing in your world is snuffling and groaning nearby! And only at this moment do you realize that everything that happened in your life before was complete nonsense. Now I am a thousand times more confident than before that together we will quickly find the path that our beloved Daddy and Husband is now following and we will definitely meet him soon! The key to the success of the appearance of my eco-miracle, as it seems to me, was not only the coordinated actions of the medical staff or my “super health”, but also a number of other factors: I managed to let go of the situation - as will be, so will be the attitude towards possible failures; Refusal from heavy workload and the opportunity to rest the body before the procedures; Communication with the future baby and receiving positive emotions from this. Well, this fairy tale is not the end, but the very beginning! Of course, when the baby grows up, she may have her own opinion on the decision I once made. And what it will be like is difficult to guess. In any case, I am already very grateful to her that she appeared in my life and made me the happiest. And I will wait with trepidation when I can lead her to the altar with a prince with a burgundy, blue, red, gray-brown-crimson or no matter what iron horse. Although who knows what kind of transport will be at that time, perhaps we will all be flying not only on our planet, but also to other galaxies. However, I would like to believe that regardless of technical know-how, the main values ​​will remain feelings - love, tenderness, respect and support.