When a child is naughty. Answers to questions. What to do if children do not obey? (Claudia I.) Adults want to have obedient children. “The main thing is to obey,” isn’t it a familiar phrase? But hardly anyone asked the question: “Why do children need to obey?” And practically no one connects obedience with obedience, although, in essence, they are the same thing. “I listen and obey,” says the Genie from the magic lamp. Who will your son or daughter listen to when they grow up? You probably know men who find it difficult to make decisions. But weren’t they taught to obey from childhood? It’s better to develop independence and the ability to make decisions in children. It is much more useful to ask your child if he has time to complete some of your tasks. And if he answers: “No,” then ask: “Why? And when will he be able to do this? This will be more useful than unquestioning obedience. I have to punish the children, but then I feel disgusting myself. Is it possible to do without punishment? (Lydia N.) Punishment is the most common measure of influence in our culture, almost always based on coercion: “If you don’t obey, no festivities. You’ll sit at home for a week,” “If you try the belt, you’ll feel like silk.” A small child cannot now resist the punishment of adults, but... what will happen later, when he grows up and feels his strength. One can only guess about this. And the subconscious, as the wise part, already in a “disgusting” state tells the parent possible consequences. Parents constantly demonstrate their attitude towards children, even when it seems to them that the children do not see anything. The information still flows - eyebrow movements, pursing of lips, changes in facial expression, gestures and even tone. But the parent himself does not realize this, but the children notice. Therefore, it is better to show or express your dissatisfaction to the child. Then there will be no need for punishment. Olga Shipovalenko.