From the author: Read “How to resolve conflicts in the family and begin to understand each other” Many people talk about management, about controlling emotions, about fighting emotions. All this is good, but useless. There is no need to fight with anyone; fighting emotions is useless. This is a fight in which you will certainly lose. Of course, if the intensity of passions is not very strong, you can be the master of the situation and partially control the situation. Let's do an exercise. Remember a quarrel, a conflict where you managed to cope with the situation and take control of it. What happened? Here you remained silent, here you smoothed out the corners, perhaps something else, but where did the feelings and emotions you experienced go? Nowhere. The internal tension has not decreased. If you were offended, did you stop being offended? Of course not. You hid for a while, put it in a distant box, which will fill up over time, and then everyone will know the true strength of your emotions. There is no control, we just collect drop by drop. What to do if struggle and control are not effective? You need to understand what is happening to you. Any emotional state does not arise out of the blue. If I was offended or angry, tell yourself honestly that it was I who was offended and angry. If there is a vulnerable spot in your soul, a sore spot, then sooner or later someone will step on it. Other people act as a litmus test; they, like an indicator, indicate what you need to pay attention to. Put two different people in the same situation and these will be different models of behavior and, accordingly, different ways out of the same situation. Text taken from the book “5 Steps to Resolving Family Conflict”»