Everyone wants love and intimacy with another soul. Many people stop believing after a series of unsuccessful romances. It happens that the same scenario works over and over again. And in the end, the person is simply exhausted by all these attempts, angry at himself, at others, and in complete despair. It is best to work with established scenarios in long-term psychotherapy, you need to deal with it. BUT! Without what I will write about below, you will not find happy love in any case. Three important points: 1) Be yourself, don’t pretend, don’t embellish. What does this mean? This means that if you are wearing a wig, a mask and false breasts, then, alas, the person will not see you. If you dig deeper, then everything is even more complicated. Two people meet. And here the dating stage begins. And suddenly the man begins to tell how cool, rich, successful he is, and the woman, naturally, bakes pies every day, plants tulips and wants three children. Then you understand perfectly well what is happening. After a couple of months everything is revealed. The two get disappointed, hate each other, tell everyone what a “goat” he is. That's why! Discuss important milestones in your life with your potential lover, talk about how you want and, more importantly, how you don’t want it to be in a relationship. The number of children, dogs, who will work, what kind of house you want, what religious views you adhere to. Not on the first date, of course. But as soon as possible. 2) Talk. You can come to an agreement with any sane person. Anyone can convey their point of view. For example, if you are angry and silent, no one has to guess about it. If you didn’t like how they treated you, don’t be silent! Explain that you don’t like it, ask to do it differently. At the same time, there is no need to hide your positive feelings, gratitude and love. If you want to say what you love or miss, say so. There is nothing worse when a person feels that you love him, but you have entered the image of “proud, fatal, independent” and it is not at all easy to get out of there. And a very important point, dear ladies! If you want to get married, then just say: “I want to get married!” Believe me, everything will immediately become clear to both you and him. You don’t need to wait 10 years - six months is enough, in fact, to understand whether this person is right for you or not at all. 3) Don’t think that someone will change over time. If a person is not right for you now, or for some reason - then you can’t reconcile yourself - look further. Because if a person tells you in plain text that he is not going to marry you, that you have been in an “open relationship” for 8 years, then don’t expect a wonderful change to happen in a month or two. If you don’t want children, but he wants more, it’s also worth thinking about. Or discuss (see point 2). If a person is an alcoholic, be aware of this. If a man doesn’t want to spend time with you, then this is also unlikely to change over time. When I hear talk that “there is no point in getting married - all marriages fall apart,” then I feel both sad and funny. It’s just that some people are starting to say it already after the wedding, when it is inevitable. And, of course, it turns out not very easy, since the skills are minimal. Some people already in marriage have to go through the stage of getting to know each other. And at this moment “escape” happens. It’s not very clear: neither from oneself, nor from another. But even such a sudden acquaintance can be experienced if you have the desire and prospects. Again, psychotherapy, dialogue, love will save.