Parents of children of all ages are familiar with whims, and some, hysterics. We perceive it as normal that 3-year-olds are capricious, but when a one-year-old baby is capricious, you can hear such phrases : “Yours is fine, but mine has only just learned to walk, but it’s already showing its character.” In terms of external manifestations, children’s whims are similar, and in terms of the situations that cause them, too. As a rule, children react violently to the words “no,” “no,” or any restrictions on their desires and needs, regardless of age. But in fact, even though outwardly crises occur in the same way, they are based on completely different reasons, and therefore the ways of dealing with whims are different at each age. Although even the reasons are the same - dissatisfaction or blocking of the child's needs, the needs of children are different, the motives for their whims are different. Why does a one-year-old child rebel? He has just started walking and suddenly enormous opportunities open up before him: he can now not only look and listen, but he can crawl up and touch, feel, taste, break, tear, i.e. take action!! This is a very important point, because at this age the child becomes so absorbed in his new possibilities that the mother gradually fades into the background. Not because the child now considers himself an adult, but because new emotions captivate him so much that he is physiologically unable (his nervous system and will have not yet matured) to control them. This is called field behavior, when a child is attracted to everything that catches his eye, he is attracted to everything with which he can do something. Therefore, with wild delight he rushes to open cabinets, doors, newspapers lying poorly on the table and everything else that is within his reach. Therefore, the following rules apply for parents of a one-year-old baby: - ​​there should be as few prohibitions as possible; - prohibitions should be classified into rigid and flexible; - it is better not to prohibit, but to distract; not with an object, but with an action: if the child was not attracted to a yellow plastic jar instead of a vase that he wanted to grab, show an action that can be performed with this jar (knock on it with a spoon, pour something inside, put a rustling newspaper in it, etc.) d.) - offer as many alternatives as possible, i.e. everything that a child can tear, crush, knock, etc. - do not try to keep the child in one room where there is something that can be broken and trampled, let you have a stash in every corner that can distract the child if necessary What happens to a three-year-old child? On the one hand, he also reacts painfully to any restriction on his action or inaction. But the child protests not because of the action/inaction itself, but because this restriction comes from an adult in order to influence him. Those. a three-year-old child believes that he himself can make decisions: to do or not to do. And with his protests he is only seeking recognition of his rights in the family. And parents always point out what to do and what not to do. In this case, the following rules will apply to the parents of a three-year-old: - allow the child to have his own space (room, toys, clothes, etc.), which he will manage himself. - respect his decisions, even if they are wrong: sometimes the method of natural consequences is the best teacher than warnings - involve the child in the discussion, ask for advice: what to cook for dinner, which route to take, which bag to put things in, etc. - pretend to be a stranger, let the child teach you how to brush your teeth, how to dress, how to play and etc. - the most important thing is to accept the fact that the child is really growing up and deserves not only love, but also real respect, because he is already a person - there is no need and it is useless to influence the child, you need to negotiate with him, i.e. learn to discuss your conflicts and find!