What is responsibility? What is my responsibility? Often problems (life tasks and their consequences) arise because we are not ready to take responsibility. It’s always easier to refer to someone or something to justify yourself. Today, I’ll briefly look at the reasons for this behavior and how it can be changed. So, why don’t I want to take responsibility? Nowadays we often hear from different sources: “it is important to be responsible”, “only you are responsible for everything that happens to you”, “take responsibility for your life”, etc. But, you see, it’s difficult to suddenly take and accept the thought “that I am responsible for everything that happens to me” as the truth. Especially when you have no money and you constantly have to survive. Or when your husband suddenly left you after 11 years. Or because you don’t live where you would like. And this fact does not mean that you are bad, irresponsible, weak-willed, a slacker, helpless, etc. It just says that your experience is what it is. What is responsibility? This is the ability to be responsible for your feelings, emotions, thoughts, actions and their consequences. A developed sense of responsibility is the ability to analyze and forecast. There are two extremes of the distortion of perception of responsibility.1. Complete irresponsibility. The person is in the unconscious position of a victim or consumer and refers to external circumstances.2. Hyper responsibility. A person does not trust and completely makes decisions for the entire process of realizing his goals. That is, increased control. Once again I emphasize: neither one nor the other option is BAD or GOOD. It just is. By accepting this fact, you acquire the ability to change it. A little about the reasons. The first model develops when the interests of the individual have been suppressed since childhood or the child has been placed at the center of the world. The initiative was suppressed, there was no interest on the part of those close to the child’s wishes, hyper-custody, decision-making by adults, permissiveness, etc. A person develops a perception of himself as a weak-willed being who is only capable of fulfilling the desires of others in order to receive love and approval. Consequences: living for the sake of others, in the hope of being good, is accompanied by a state of dissatisfaction. Or consumption of the world for personal purposes. In relationships - this is dissatisfaction, demand, resentment, accusations, self-obsession, etc. At work, it is only the position of the performer, complaints, lack of ambitions and goals, or, on the contrary, demands that do not correspond to abilities. The second model develops when a child looks at the suffering of parents, which they try to hide, or when a child is taught from an early age that he is responsible, life is difficult, one must fight, one must be able to survive, etc. Consequences: an eternal struggle for survival, internal resistance and conflicts, a clash of desires and experiences, which is also expressed in the outside world. This is distrust, this is a developed ego (since I had to achieve everything on my own without cooperation), this is loneliness, even with a partner, the universal preservation of my little world in a closed form. What is the actual responsibility of a person to live a fulfilling life without extremes? I am responsible for my feelings, emotions, thoughts and actions with which I create my reality, but at the same time I do not control the surrounding reality. This is self-control, without affecting the interests of others. This is self-confidence and confidence, healthy self-esteem. This is the ability to analyze your past, and not the lives of other people. This is the ability to predict the consequences of one's actions. This is having your own opinion and goals. You can write endlessly. Briefly, in the first sentence of this paragraph. What to do about it? Find the cause of the distortion. Analyze “why this is so” (consider the model of the family and close circle). Realize “what I really want.” Consider the pros and cons. This point is very important. Your mind will not move an eye until you convey to it the benefits of the changes. The comfort zone of the mind is a way!