We rarely think about what role our father plays in our lives; over the years, it has turned out that mom rules everything: the upbringing process, she is the emotional climate, mom logistically handles school/section/tutoring issues , mom takes care, and dad earns money, and this is at best, it often happens that the father figure is devalued in the family, women either think that the father devotes too little time to the children, or he is doing something wrong or giving the wrong thing , endless control displaces the man, or maybe the man and the woman have separated, and often, through the prism of grievances, it is difficult for them to maintain their parenthood for the child. BUT! The mother gives life, and the father gives the strength to live! And if, when born, the child really is in some kind of merger with the mother, then growing up, it is through the father that the child comes into contact with the outside world, with society, it is in contact with the father that the child learns to take risks, go, make mistakes, make choices, declare yourself, build boundaries. If dad, looking at the girl, admired her, gave her a feeling of security and confidence, then the girl felt that when going into the world, there was this big and safe figure behind her and growing up, it was normal for her to continue to feel confident and safe, and even if crises happened and stress, she has internal support to cope with this, to have the experience of living inside, not to split into molecules of inconsistency with this world, ideas about herself, not to fall into the pit of horror of worthlessness, but to draw conclusions and move on. If in this place there was some kind of “breakdown” in the system, then growing up such a girl still seeks approval and admiration from her father, seeks love and recognition, mistakes are perceived as a failure on a universal scale, in a moment of crisis and stress she can regress into the state of a little girl and then it is no longer possible to adequately assess the situation. In a relationship with a man, it is impossible to remain a woman, because you want to be “in your arms” and to be decided and pampered, a certain imbalance occurs, and often this happens unconsciously and is not clear, and why is the relationship not working out? It is important not to complain about fate and not to look for those to blame, but to start with yourself, gradually getting rid of destructive scenarios in relationships with loved ones. We have grown up, we are adults and it is important to separate ourselves not only from mom, but also to look at dad, even if he was not there or don’t remember, it’s important to complete this figure inside in order to stop expecting from men what once didn’t line up.