Clients often come in who are experiencing separation from a partner and emotional dependence, when the pain of trauma is so intense that a person’s life is divided into “before” and “after”. The joy of euphoria gives way to apathy and almost prolonged depression with constant replaying in the head of events related to the object of fatal attraction. This resembles withdrawal syndrome or, simply put, withdrawal. Clients come to get support in their experiences, to find answers to tormenting questions , to see a way out of the inner emptiness, when life around becomes faded, and it seems that no alternatives are in sight. Some clients talk about the loss of a relationship with warm sadness, others would like to erase painful memories from their heads. How no matter how painful and difficult it is, any loss, any traumatic event lasts, sometimes from a year or longer, and passes through 5 stages. They must be lived. With a psychologist this comes out much easier. Additionally, you can work through your maladaptive beliefs, master self-regulation skills and solve a number of related problems. The first reaction when breaking up is usually shock. The person remains horrified by what happened for some time. “Horror” can be expressed in detachment from the present, apathy. Or, on the contrary, people who are inclined to deny unpleasant experiences will pretend that nothing happened, that everything is going as it should. Someone may cry and show hysteria to others. At the second stage, anger comes. The person begins to blame the ex and even wish the worst for him. The third stage is bargaining. A person tries to “digest” what happened, he is in constant thought: why, why, what to do, how to continue to live? The fourth stage is depression. When a person loses hope of returning the relationship, he falls into sadness. The fifth stage is acceptance. Ideally, a person assimilates this unpleasant experience, adapts to the current situation (for example, draws conclusions and transfers the locus of control to his new life - new hobbies, acquaintances, self-development, etc.). Any unpleasant event can both demobilize and on the contrary, to breathe strength for a leap forward, to open new horizons. Relationships play an important role in the life of any person. But why doesn’t any relationship make you happy? Even if a person is in a relationship, but is drowning in memories of the past, then we can assume that he is not fully satisfied with the present. And here it is worth asking yourself: “What did I get in past relationships? Can I get this in the current one? How did I feel in that relationship? How do I feel now? What emotions, thoughts, images come to mind when answering questions? As a rule, a person yearns for a lost sense of self. Perhaps there and then he felt somehow special, loved, and all the sorrows faded into the background. Why is he not able to feel like that now? Usually we dive into resolving this issue in the process of therapy. After all, even if a person idealizes his ex partner, does he need this for something? * Artist: Edvard Munch.