From the author: An essay on the topic of parental messages and repression, published on my website eremeev.org and in the space of the blogosphere. In one country, one of its leaders once, absolutely not by chance, declared himself, in addition to all kinds of official ranks and titles, Father of Nations. We will not specify who exactly he was. You can think about the French king Henry the Fourth, and about Louis the Thirteenth the Just, or about someone else of your choice. It's not even that important. The non-randomness itself is important, because when all nations have one Father with a capital F, then the idea is embedded in the unconscious that all the fathers with a small letter are no longer so significant. And since it is customary to obey the father, and especially the Father, this makes managing people much easier. Such Fathers usually love to leave various kinds of “testaments”, “messages” and other tablets for their numerous children-peoples. Parental messages generally serve as a simple and convenient form of transferring experience from parents to children. And any parent constantly teaches their child something, without always realizing it. And some of these parental messages are usually considered in practical psychology as negative. In the sense that a life built according to such messages becomes more unhappy than happy. One of these significant negative learnings can be expressed in a short slogan: Be strong. Sounds encouraging enough - what's wrong with raising this idea to a flag and carrying it through life? The strong are respected, the strong are listened to, the strong are more able to win victories in the competitive struggle that life largely consists of. People are guided by these or approximately these arguments when they accustom themselves and others to this position. But nature is designed in such a way that everything exists in some kind of harmonious balance, be it the living world or the world of inanimate objects. The key complements the lock, and the right hand complements the left. Being almost a mirror copy of her, but at the same time being most often much weaker. Any strength is also balanced by its corresponding weakness. And then, in fact, if you dig really deep, it turns out that the call to be strong essentially means: Never show your weaknesses and feelings to anyone. And if being strong always and in everything is a task from the realm of illusory perception of the world, then learning to hide your weaknesses and feelings from others is something more real. Just like actually learning to constantly walk on your toes in order to appear taller from the outside. There are at least two problematic issues here. Firstly, it takes a lot of effort. And secondly, once you learn to hide something about yourself from others, you gradually get used to hiding it from yourself. Or at least prohibit yourself from doing so. Once, in one of the conversations, a fairly successful man in a social sense revealed a sad secret: “I have come to the point in life that I can completely allow myself to be who I am, not only in my shining armor, but also with my weaknesses.” , doubts about choices, fears about the future and depressive experiences, I can only wear one mask at work, and another at home with my wife, and there is no room for weaknesses. And sometimes I just want someone. -I regretted it.." There are, of course, situations in life about which we can say that pity humiliates. And there is a simple human desire for, well, sometimes, someone close to you, to feel sorry for you. It's more about intimate unity than something humiliating. It is unlikely that this can be achieved by always trying to be strong. Often a person who professes this position in life even in his thoughts “beats himself on the wrist”: “Well, how long can you step on the same rake, you’re already ... years old!”; “Stop whining, be a man already”; “How can you be such a fool?!” This type of thinking in Ellis's rational-emotive therapy is also called.