Observation from life. The shopping center in Khanty-Mansiysk, decorated for the New Year holiday, had a lot of interesting things for children. And everything they can reach, they want to touch, take and play with. But how often do parents, in response to their children’s sincere interest, say: “you can’t”, “don’t touch”, “don’t come”, stopping genuine curiosity, even if the child can’t harm anything. And as soon as a child starts crying loudly, they begin to shame him or, on the contrary, they quickly allow him to do so, just so as not to attract attention to himself. Yes, “no” is an important word, it defines the boundaries of the norm, but if there are a lot of prohibitions, this makes the child (then an adult) comfortable, obedient, weak-willed, timid and shy. “You can’t” should always be balanced with “you can!” The positions of both parents must be the same, otherwise the child will quickly learn to manipulate, intuitively sensing disagreements between them. For the mental health and development of children, stability in the position of parents in what they are allowed and prohibited is important. Firstly, it must be said that both parents must have the same opinion. For him, the word and deed of a parent are a guarantee of stability and security. Secondly, we need a balance between prohibitions and permissions. Thirdly, the rules must be constant. Fourthly, the parent’s word has priority over other relatives, for example, grandparents or aunts and uncles cannot cancel it. In establishing the list of rules itself, the “Traffic Light Rule” works well: it is important for the child to know what is never allowed (red), for example, turn on the gas, play with matches, run across the road, swing your fists at mom or dad, bite, etc.; what is definitely always possible (green), for example, candy after lunch, a cartoon before bed, etc.; you can sometimes (yellow), for example, on Friday and Saturday go to bed and get up an hour later than on weekdays, etc. How to create “Traffic Light Rules”. Divide a sheet of paper into 3 parts, one will mean full permission (green), the second will mean prohibition (red), the third will mean permission with conditions (yellow) and write down all the rules that you consider necessary. These rules must be agreed upon by both parents and communicated to the child. Can be placed in a visible place, for example, a refrigerator or a child’s closet. Other relatives involved in upbringing, etc. must be familiar with the rules and comply with them. This is how the child develops healthy boundaries, trust in the world and a sense of its stability. Live “here and now” and remember: everyone can live happily!