Often a client comes in a situation of choice, which presents itself in different variations: “I don’t want to live like this anymore/I can’t and I don’t know how to change something (I don’t know how, I can’t, I’m afraid)” , “I want it, but I don’t do anything for it and I can’t force myself,” “I know that I need it (important, useful), I try, but nothing works.” And behind this may be ineffective repetitive patterns of behavior or habitual response mechanisms that are more compulsive than a conscious choice in a particular situation. That is, at this moment the client seems to be divided into two parts: one part that wants change and the other that resists and wants stability. For example, it may be more habitual (safer) to suffer than to experience joy, express it, share it. And as a rule, we grab onto the first part that wants change and, as it were, push the client towards a request formulated precisely within the framework of change. After all, it is assumed that this is exactly what he came for. And it is not surprising that the more we drag this part, the more the other one will resist or the client will not want to take responsibility at all, but will expect help from us. Therefore, it is so important at the very beginning not to rush and deal with the request and these two parts . Even if the client confidently states that he does not want to leave everything as it is, even in this case we deal with both parts, since these are “two ends of the same stick.” We are based on the fact that if a person is in this situation, then once there and then it was his choice (even if it was unconscious), and in that situation this choice was most likely effective. And if a person remains in this situation long enough, then it means he is still choosing it. And here it makes sense to find out why he needs it, what it gives and what “bonuses” he receives by remaining in it. Of course, during his stay in this situation, some relationships were formed - in the family, in the environment, ideas about the picture of the world and about yourself in it. One way or another, a person has adapted, so cutting from the shoulder can be risky. First, you need to understand how firmly and confidently the client “stands” on his own two feet, for this we work with the part that resists these changes, the part that receives some benefit now. What are the “bonuses” from maintaining the situation, here some examples: - habitual experiences - they can be both negative and positive (shame, guilt, resentment, etc.) - these are those reactions that give a feeling of constancy, do not frighten with their novelty or uncertainty; - the usual way of life, familiar ways of responding - your own and those around you; - “stroking” from others in the form of support, help, expressions of pity, sympathy, etc.; - a stable picture of the world and ideas about yourself, your self-concept. Working with the part that wants stability. It is better to start working with bodily sensations, since a person may experience ambiguous feelings (for example, shame that he remains in a situation and cannot change it; irritation and annoyance at what is holding him back; devaluation of past experiences when these methods were effective ). That is, we are attentive to bodily and emotional manifestations when we talk about this part. Some options for work: - Try to imagine this part - yourself in the current situation (simply describe it in your imagination, imagine it as a metaphor; work with the image - draw, sculpt, depict in the form of a sculpture, choose an object, etc.). Offer to be this part and live it, that is, show it with your body (how it moves and how it freezes, how it expresses itself non-verbally and how it breathes, how it is positioned in space); then offer to say something on her behalf, express her emotional state and attitude towards the environment. - Offer to fantasize what will happen if we leave everything as it is, if nothing changes now, in a year, in 10 years. (Also (if necessary ) you can proceed with the second part and see).