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I’m about to start praising....Have you ever worked with clients or been a client with an over-pumped cognitive mind? That is, a person who lives from the neck up. - Hello, I would really like to feel happy. But you know... And then there are many, many, many words... This is about the pumped-up internal parent and the order NOT TO FEEL. That's it... Access to bodily sensation is blocked. Maybe the attitude “You must be strong and not show your weakness” lives deep inside. Or.... “To feel is to be weak.” Sometimes this turns into causticism and trollism: “Everyone is so enthusiastic. Maybe I should go and learn something and get some treatment. Maybe I’ll really start making honey too... “- I read once on a forum where people were invited to share comments after listening to an exercise on the topic of accessing the inner child. And this is not the saddest option. This may be a sign of the beginning of recovery - feelings begin to seep in, although they are slightly peroxidized. Sometimes the injunction NOT TO FEEL develops into addiction - like a distorted way of FEELING: alcohol, drugs, food, sex, shopping, games - just to feel alive, to feel at least something... Often it manifests itself simply in everyday dullness and the lack of deliciousness in life - when, in general, everything is in order, but... there is not enough brightness and richness of colors. There are a lot of “musts” and “through force.” This injunction NOT to FEEL is rooted deep in childhood. When quite adult demands are placed on us: to be comfortable. Comfortable in terms of: not expressing your needs (it is advisable not to have them or to have them at a minimum), not taking care of yourself - this is a shame, you need to take care of others, not feeling - “don’t put any rubbish in your mouth”, “why are you touching everything with your hands”, “stop crying - you’re a boy”, “a girl shouldn’t be angry”, etc. This is scary... Because then we grow up from Necks. We will not have developed sexuality, our creativity is blocked, our desires and motivation are somehow sluggish, but we won’t reach our inner child. Next is half-life, since we are dissociated from our bodily sensations. If you want to test yourself for this pattern of NOT FEELING, check how easy meditation and trance techniques are for you, how deeply you can relax your body. If you are a woman, then how feminine and soft you are. If a man, then do you allow yourself to express emotions: not only laugh, but also cry??? And what should you do? When such clients began to come to me, I realized that the only way to work in this case is deep rapport. Only by getting into good and deep contact with something deeply hidden inside a person can I support his inner child, bless his wound and ..... "allow him to feel his pain." I like this phrase - bless the wound (I spied on it and adopted it from the gurus of world NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan). In fact, when living from the neck up - without this blessing, acceptance that you can give to his wound - the inner child may not show signs of life at all. You may hear from a client that he does not have any inner child at all - he simply does not feel it. You will see how his attention jumps out of the body and into the brain again and again. And words-words-words begin. This injunction NOT TO FEEL is not due to the fact that a person is afraid to feel pain or feel the needs of his inner child. This is deeper... This is ignoring. That is, very often this prescription goes hand in hand with the rejection that a person can even have such an ability - to FEEL. For example, parents get divorced and the family moves - the child is four years old. Yes, what does he understand about this? Well-fed, dressed, put on shoes and okay. Why are you making a fuss - I would like your problems. And in general - children should not be visible and not