From the author: psychotherapist, sexologist, TV program expert, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, NLP master, educational psychologist, existential neuroprogramming specialist, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coachSometimes it works out So the situation is that everything happens in due time. For example, an hour before my women’s training: “All the secrets of orgasm.” I receive a letter from a client with whom we worked a couple of weeks ago. Then I advised her to buy one of the devices for clitoral stimulation in a sex shop. The letter contained the following content: “Lilya, thank you very much, the device turned out to be wonderful and helped me a lot, enriching me with new sensations, but I would also like to have an orgasm together with my husband...”. I immediately show the contents of the letter to the visitors of my training (of course, without specifying the addressee) and it goes well. The girls also got acquainted with the device itself (I just took it with me). I will talk about it in more detail in the second part of the article. Well, the next day, I was already working with the voiced problems of a client from Moscow, a 27-year-old girl, who wrote me this letter. We once again clarified the desired result, from which it became clear, that she wants to have a joint orgasm with her partner. And we should have removed the obstacles on this path. In general, when the goal is clear and the client is ready, the work usually goes quite quickly and without problems. This was the case this time too, when I worked as a psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist. We plunged into memories that needed to be put in order. As usual, this is what happened in the past, and what prevented me from getting the desired state. The first memory was my grandmother. The client recalled her story about her youth, saying that she married innocent and how valuable it was. In part, this kept the client from having early sexual intercourse, and she lost her virginity at the age of 23. Now the girl said that this is already perceived as a kind of delusion (now this is really not so relevant anymore, but partly there is something positive in it, I’m not a prude, but I don’t particularly welcome early sexual intercourse). In this situation, the client exchanged this for a belief, one that was personal to her, and it sounded like: “Not in our time...” Then, as one would expect, came the school years: first love, complexes. Then the girl decided that: “Nobody needs me.” Now she realized that she shouldn’t make hasty conclusions, and everything has its time. She has been in a relationship for six months now, and is quite happy. Then, the story of when she was 19 years old. First relationship, but since both were virgins, there was a mutual fear of sex, and as a result, the client and the guy stopped communicating. She has now cleaned up what was left from that failed interaction. These were unjustified expectations and negative feelings. And we moved on. Then we got closer to the topic of first sex. But the problem was completely due to some kind of bad experience, and was of a slightly different nature: “I understood that the relationship had already outlived its usefulness, but I continued to meet.” The reason for this was quite unusual (I think you’ll never guess). So, the girl at that time had problems with orgasm. She received it only in the shower, under running water. And the client decided that this constituted her inferiority complex, and: “I’m like this, without an orgasm, no one will need me, How can I explain to my man that I have problems with this, he won’t date me!” Now, Having rethought the situation, she said: “I realized that by working on myself, both a vaginal orgasm and a joint orgasm are quite possible. There is no problem in getting it from classic clitoral stimulation, as well as from various vibrators. The main thing here is faith in myself, the realization that I can do it. I advised her to remove the super value. I will say, as a psychologist, psychotherapist and sexologist, that you need to have fun…