From the author: Parenting mistakes that are very expensive. How to make your child neurotic. Strange name? Evil? I can offer a few more options: “How to ruin your child’s life” or “Why parents don’t love their children,” etc. You can come up with many more names. Names for what? Parental mistakes? It is difficult to call behavior that lasts for years a mistake. This is not a mistake, it is a choice. Choosing a parenting style. Or lifestyle. It doesn't matter how you say it. The important thing is that this is a CHOICE. And the important thing is that it can be changed! Hundreds of volumes have been written about parenting styles. And in these hundreds of volumes, the same themes and the same mottos are repeated over and over again - for a child to grow up healthy and capable of being happy, he needs love. But, apparently, the term “love” is somehow enchanted, since a huge number of parents, claiming that they “love” their children, commit actions that speak more of rejection and emotional rejection than of love. What do parents do? Option one. They compare their child with another child (of course, not in his favor). “Why Vasya can do it, but you can’t?”, “Look at Zhenya, she’s always so neat, and you’re always like a pig!”, “Everyone in the class copes, you’re the only one, as always, who can’t handle it!” How does a child feel in such a situation? Humiliation and contempt on the part of the parent. He will have problems with self-esteem for many years (if not forever). He will either spend his whole life proving to the whole world that “he is no worse” or he will worry and understand all his life that everything that life offers is not for him, because he is not worthy. Option two. Parents have no time. They work. Or are busy sorting things out with each other. What happens in a child's life attracts attention only when it goes beyond the normal. Parents are not interested in what happens in the child’s everyday life, what he thinks about, what he dreams about, what happens in class, what kind of relationships he has with his peers... They are busy. The result is that a person grows up who is convinced that no one needs him and does not interesting. And he doesn’t really need anyone either. He does not know how to build relationships, and if he does build them, it is more like revenge - relationships are built on distrust, resentment, the desire to hurt a partner, to demonstrate his uselessness, unimportance. Chronic loneliness. Option three. Parents demand that the child not disgrace them, but give them the opportunity to be proud of him as his achievement. Since childhood, parents' attention has been focused on how the child “looks in the eyes of others.” He simply must be flawless! The best! Gifted! Successful! So that his parents would not be ashamed of him.... As a result, he is a person who is always tense, anxious, passionately striving to achieve success everywhere, secretly ashamed of himself and horrified at the thought that he may turn out to be “not perfect”, “not flawless”. The dominant emotions are anger, hatred of other people, anxiety on the verge of panic attacks and endless guilt. The world is filled with unhappy people. Of course, everyone is unhappy in their own way, but the reasons for this unhappiness are often the same. Parents, do not cripple the psyche of your children! Change your style of interaction with your child, let him feel your love, not your fears, complexes and problems!