“It’s like I have an emptiness inside. It’s even difficult for me to understand how I feel and what I want. Before, I probably didn’t notice this - I just tried to fill the time as much as possible with communication, books, TV, so as not to be alone with myself. But now the emptiness is growing..."Often a person lives with a feeling of inner emptiness from early childhood, but does not realize this, but only vaguely realizes that he is somehow different from others - more dependent on other people's views, other people's assessments, other people's opinions. It is difficult for him to be alone, because this painful feeling of emptiness immediately arises. Therefore, such people are often very sociable and can become the life of the party. However, here is a paradox: the person himself has to make significant efforts to communicate, since any communication for him inevitably involves the fact that he will be evaluated, and without communication he remains as if in vacuum - after all, he is absolutely unable to emotionally saturate himself; he requires constant external recharge. His self-esteem also requires the same nourishment, since it is very dependent on the assessment of others. These people are often perfectionists - after all, if you do everything perfectly, there is a greater chance of receiving praise. It is very important for them how they look, how stylishly and expensively they are dressed. The state of inner emptiness is most often formed in early childhood due to a lack of love and care from parents (overprotection) or excessive, excessive care (overprotection). In the first case, the child’s need for love and intimacy is ignored, and in order to survive, the child begins to repress the pain associated with being rejected, and along with the pain, represses other emotions and desires. After all, if desires are not fulfilled, and this hurts so much, it is better not to want or feel at all. In the second case (with overprotection), the parents “want” for the child all the time - a lot and often. They do not hear the true needs of the child and do not take them into account. Such a child not only does not form normal boundaries, but also the connection with himself, his emotions, desires is disrupted, and part of his personality is often displaced by parental introjects. As a result, in both cases, in adulthood, a lack of connection with his internal Parent, there may be a lack of basic trust in the world (with hypoprotection, the parents conveyed to the child “there is no one to protect you,” and with overprotection, “we take care of you this way because the world is very dangerous”). There is also an inability to recognize other people's emotions because it is difficult to recognize your own. Because of this, difficulties arise in communication, which is urgently necessary due to the need to be liked and thereby nourish one’s self-esteem. It happens that the feeling of inner emptiness first appears in adulthood if a person experiences unbearable emotions for a long time, and in order to survive, unconsciously blocks its ability to feel. Thus, the inner emptiness is never completely empty. This is always the result of repressing strong negative emotions (at an early age or in adulthood). If you ask to imagine emptiness in the form of an image, each person will have its own, special one. That is, it always has content. You can work successfully with emptiness in therapy. Even at the initial stage, when it is only possible to determine the reasons for its occurrence, to understand what repressed emotions it is filled with, the feeling of emptiness, as a rule, weakens. And if you no longer try to fill the emptiness from the outside, but dive inside the emptiness, explore it, then you will begin to recognize yourself , your personality, letting go of your own oppressive control, which you are used to suppressing and repressing, and the path to finally learning to hear your emotions and desires - the path to self-identity.