From the author: Ah, it’s not difficult to deceive me! I myself am glad to be deceived! Pushkin A. S... Today you forged an insignificant tick - and tomorrow you are lying in court (no more or less - criminal liability)... So, from the recent :) Lies... A constant companion of our lives! And does anyone think about how lying affects the person lying? No, not on interpersonal relationships, where this phenomenon once (and, great happiness, if not forever!) appeared, not on something shared with another person, but on the liar himself. Today I would like to pay attention to exactly how a lie affects the person who directly generates it. Since here we are focusing our attention precisely on the destructive characteristics of a lie, we will immediately note the following point. Namely: any lie is negative in nature, and any lie is destructive in nature. It’s interesting: in almost any classification of types of lies, a lie “for the greater good” occupies a special place. It is clear that the one who first so dubbed this essentially unremarkable type of lie was focused on the motivation of the liar, and not on the “consequences”, not on what such a lie entails. But for those who use it in a given situation, a lie is usually perceived as “helping,” “softening,” “facilitating.” However, dig deeper and you can hardly find an example of a lie that is actually presented in place of the real information not only has good intentions, but also this good leads to it. Clearly, we can come up with some radical examples a la concealing a fatal diagnosis, etc. But, firstly, why go to extremes when “white lies” are much more popular in completely different situations. Secondly, even these, as I called them, radical examples - and who knows what would have happened and how, if you still did not resort to lies in such situations?! When we say “it would be worse,” we reason in terms of “what it would be like if it were,” and such reasoning is always very, very doubtful. But let’s look at why lies are destructive, and whether this is so (if, of course, , there are doubters) - very simply through the universal triad of emotional-cognitive-behavioral components. So, the emotional level. How does lying work here? A person who lies is anxious, but often the nature of this anxiety is incomprehensible to him and is not realized by him. So, he shows increased irritability, constantly experiencing discomfort. Why does a person not notice the nature of his uncomfortable anxious state? It's all about overlaying multiple sources. If a person was puzzled only by the fact that he lied, everything would be simple. But here we have the following. Firstly, since a person has resorted to lying, it means that the situation itself (which he hides or distorts) does not suit him in some way - this is the first thing about which he feels dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction, and discomfort. For some reason, he cannot afford to present something as it is - perhaps this “something” causes him a feeling of shame and guilt. This alone is more than enough to stop feeling relaxed and “smooth.” Secondly, the liar, understandably, worries about the fact that he will be caught in a lie, that the truth will “come out” to the surface. It is equally clear that when thinking about this, the feelings caused by the real situation (shame, guilt) intensify. Thirdly, if the person lying is ashamed of his lies, additional corresponding moral experiences are layered and the person suffers over the very fact of lying. As a result, the person is in, let’s say, “mixed” anxiety. As it generalizes, it ceases to be tied to something specific, and the person is left with a feeling of anxiety, but he is not aware of what exactly it is connected with? The following chain operates in his head: he disguised an undesirable situation with a lie, which means that it seems to not exist; since there is no “sort of” situation, then there should be no feelings associated with it (guilt, shame). Thus, generalized anxiety becomes cut off from its sources, but, naturally, without disappearing, 🙂