From the author: This topic - betrayal - cannot be contained in one small post, even in a dozen or a hundred posts. Dozens of books have been written on this topic. The fact of betrayal will cause severe pain to the partner, he will suffer. Even if it was or is possible to keep the secret. The fact of betrayal will cause severe pain to the partner and he will suffer. Even if we managed or manage to keep the secret. The fact is that a person lives in two worlds at the same time. We feel everything that happens in the world of things, bodies and actions - we see, hear and thus monitor everything around. And the world of thoughts , ideas, feelings we observe only indirectly. But what happens in this invisible world affects us all. How? After betrayal, a person experiences feelings of guilt, sadness, anxiety, and shame. What does this lead to? Perhaps he will begin to drown his feelings with alcohol or binge on food. Betrayal gives rise to many processes, distrust and self-resentment arise. Treason is perceived by most as a stab in the back. And this requires self-defense. The person who committed treason, in order to reduce the severity of guilt, simply begins to defend himself. At the level that life experience, morality and mental abilities allow. One way or another, a person shows a certain cast of internal experiences to his partner. First of all, he begins to devalue everything connected with his partner. He criticizes everything he does and separates from his spouse in his feelings. Everything to reduce internal pain. The deceived partner suffers without even understanding what happened. Even before the betrayal, when a crisis, conflict situation has just arisen in the family, think - is it worth it? Is it possible to better understand the conflict? Maybe you should tell your partner about what hurts you and what you are unhappy with? Most people do not understand that crises and conflicts are important for getting to know each other and provide a resource for the further development of relationships, and hence they do not know how to survive conflicts and come out of crises constructively, without harm to the relationship with the partner. Yes, physical betrayal is first committed in thoughts and, often, the partner stops working on the existing relationship, and instead simply switches to fantasies about another person. And in some circumstances, physical betrayal also occurs, as confirmation of completion relationships. After one betrayal, people continue to live together. Or betrayal becomes a constant companion of these spouses in parallel love relationships, one or both. In fact, such a life is only the appearance of a relationship, the appearance of a marriage. For the sake of children, because of parents and relatives, because of property, for the sake of amenities and conveniences. A person who has committed treason often wonders whether to confess? If you want to continue the play you started with a dramatic confession, then do not hope for understanding. Be prepared that you may not forgive. Most fellow psychologists insist on keeping the secret of the betrayal that occurred - yes, it will be difficult, but it is a matter of choice. If after the betrayal a person decides that this is a mistake, the main principle is not to shift responsibility. Dear partner - remain silent and live with it. In my experience, memories are luggage, much more valuable than money. If it’s hard to bear the feeling of guilt, anxiety and fear of the future, then come. This is not the first time I have dealt with these issues..