Literally in a nutshell, I will say that E. Burn is the founder of transactional analysis, a wonderful psychotherapist and psychologist. So here it is. In every personality, in any - yours, mine, Vasya Pupkin, etc. - there are so-called three “subpersonalities” - the main ones, the main ones. Of course there are many of them. They can be modified, they can be interchanged, intermixed somehow, and so on, but these are the main three. These are “Parent”, “Adult”, “Child”. Let’s look at the diagram. Directly here, which affects relationships with children. So that, accordingly, so that our children and your child, if you have one, and if not, then for the future, I think you are still planning to have children. Maybe not now, maybe in 2 years, maybe. in 5, 10 years, it doesn’t matter. But, nevertheless, the attitude towards children is built according to the following approximate scenario. I describe it very briefly, but nevertheless. One person is a parent in exactly the status that he has. Another personality is a child. If, for example, he is still preschool age, then, as a rule, he has not yet developed the criteria of an adult parent. Not developed yet. However, Parent, Adult, Child - let's draw. This is a child. Your child's status is clear. What happens next. The most optimal communication scheme, building trusting relationships, is built in the case when, of course, the parent can exhibit parental traits. Of course, he can control. And he controls, basically. But don't forget. That this control is excessive. If it is excessive, it leads to a kind of dominance over the child’s personality. One might say that his child’s subpersonality becomes infantile. You don't give him any responsibility. Taking on some role, function, thereby expressing oneself, thereby self-actualizing at that same childhood age - at 4, 5, 6, 7 years old, or 10, 12, etc. Accordingly, if purely at this level, at this stage, to consider, it turns out that if the “parent” dominates the “child”, accordingly, all sorts of qualities that should develop and should, on the contrary, contribute to the development of this subpersonality in a growing child, they are suppressed. They are suppressed and the child is here he grows up, of course, he becomes an adult, but this quality has turned off in him. This is the quality that begins to manifest itself here - responsibility, for example. What else? Of course, there are also manifestations of communication with other people. The ability to communicate, communicate, the ability to build dialogue. Ability to achieve goals. Responsibility, communication, will. Not Pavel Volya, but will as a criterion. Other qualities. Discipline, self-realization. If a child, for example, wants to play the drums, give him this opportunity. Yes, of course, children hesitate very often. First they are interested in this for a week, then in this... That’s how they search for themselves. This time. Secondly, they self-actualize through some gaming skills. Playing skills are necessary. And if a parent tells him: “You are such a stupid person, you are so brainless, you can’t do anything.” Nothing will work out for him in life. And he will not be able to achieve those necessary goals. He will not be able to achieve goals exactly as efficiently. We are talking about quality. It is clear that some of his goals will be realized. Naturally. But about quality, specifically about depth, about the approach of thinking that “this can be done,” that this is his, that he will be confident in his abilities, that he will be able to realize himself. And as an element, subsequently, in adults, it is the child who forms hobbies. Unconscious desires to develop through games. Games for adults manifest themselves in the form of some kind of hobby. Football, music, dancing, choreography. I don't know... Anything else? Many, many, many things... Provide this opportunity, let him develop the way he wants. But do not neglect, dominate or repress this subpersonality. Children's subpersonality. I wish you only success in your educational/