CONTACT WITH YOURSELF1.2 Observation of inner speech Establishing inner contact, through the process of observation, is certainly an important process. One of the aspects of intrapsychic life that is accessible to introspection is our inner speech, internal dialogue. Inner speech is a process different from mental activity and external speech activity - verbalization. Inner speech is one of the forms of presenting a person’s thoughts, deployed in the internal mental space, non-verbalized for others and different in structure from external speech. “Speech does not serve as an expression of a ready-made thought. A thought that turns into speech is rearranged and modified. The thought is not expressed, but is accomplished in the word.” (L.S. Vygotsky “Thinking and Speech”). However, speech is the main instrument of thinking and is inextricably linked with it. Inner speech is understood as an essential transitional stage between the plan and expanded external speech. It can exist in the form of a kinesthetic, auditory or visual image of a word. We observe inner speech by consciously directing and concentrating our attention on this phenomenon of inner mental life. To put it simply, we direct the focus of attention to speech addressed to ourselves. Observation of inner speech can reflect the following for us: 1. Helps to detect auto-aggression. Auto-aggression manifests itself not only behaviorally (acts of self-harm and anti-vital manifestations). Often auto-aggression manifests itself in internal dialogue with oneself. We may poorly monitor this process or not be aware of it at all, although it quite fundamentally influences our attitude towards ourselves. Aggressive communication with oneself can be expressed in poisonous self-criticism (which is not the same as the critical attitude of a healthy person towards oneself), self-flagellation, self-judgment, gloating, sadistic monologues, and devaluation of oneself. I would like to draw attention to the fact that auto-aggression in the space of internal communication with oneself complicates the process of self-observation and the process of personality development. I like the explanatory model of the phenomenon of self-aggression from psychoanalysis. We all have a certain mental structure called the Super-I (otherwise known as the Super-Ego, internal critic), which is formed in childhood by parents or significant others. It consists of certain moral precepts, norms that correspond to the society in which we live. That is, it’s about how it should be, how it should and shouldn’t be, right/wrong, what you should and how you should be in society. This helps our adaptation and is certainly necessary. However, it happens that the Super-Ego has a rigid structure and manifests itself in a sadistic manner towards the individual. Scolds, devalues; repeats that it is not enough, wrong, wrong, bad, too simple, ugly, ridiculous, small, provocative, and so on and so forth.. In such a condemning dialogue with yourself, you can even hear the voice of the person who instilled these things in you since childhood norms, improved you; to see faces, pictures and feel a certain way - as it was there and then. The interesting thing is that the structure of the Super-Ego is designed to improve our lives, to help us. Therefore, as adults, we sometimes perceive internal criticism and condemnation as the norm, as a condition necessary for our improvement, development, and advancement. However, toxic criticism often blocks our activity and does not allow individuality to emerge. The rigid structure of the Super-Ego involves fighting against any “wrong” manifestations or qualities of a person, which takes a lot of strength and energy. A person tries to equate himself to a certain standard, displacing and excluding from his mental space everything that does not correspond to the correct image. Therefore, the “dark manifestations” of our personality are often inaccessible to our observation and perception. Auto-aggression blocks the vision and understanding of our sides, which are unpleasant and wrong for us. Inconsistency with the Superego Imagebrings us deep pain, causes a reaction of attack on ourselves. Here the protective mechanisms of the psyche begin to turn on (repression, displacement, denial, intellectualization, etc.) designed to reduce mental stress. Therefore, our irregularities and roughness remain invisible to us, unrecognized and unappropriated, which complicates contact with ourselves. Thus, in order to make the process of observing the internal mental space accessible, in its various manifestations, it is necessary, first of all, to study how the structure works your self-aggression. How it manifests itself in communication with oneself, in behavior, in actions. Based on knowledge about the structure of our auto-aggression, the opportunity opens up for us to build an internal space that nourishes us with support and acceptance. 2. Internal can act as an auxiliary tool for recognizing emotions. With rationalization and poor connection with the body and emotions, observing inner speech helps determine the nature of emotions if their definition is difficult. Since thinking (and inner speech, as a product of thinking) and emotions are closely related, it is appropriate to ask, “What do you tell yourself when you experience these emotions?” It often happens that we mistakenly define an emotion, covering the truly experienced emotions with some socially convenient mask. For example, it is more common for men to express aggression and anger, under the guise of which fear, despair, and helplessness can be hidden. Women more often openly demonstrate a mask of sadness, sadness - which can hide the true emotion of anger, for example. Having these “masks” can be confusing and does not help us understand true emotions. Therefore, the question “What do you tell yourself when you experience certain emotions?” can lead to a more accurate understanding of our emotional state. What do we tell ourselves when we get angry? - It’s unfair! - He was wrong! - I should have been more careful! - I was deceived! What do we tell ourselves when we feel fear? - it’s too dangerous..- but nothing will work out for me..- what if I do something wrong? What do we tell ourselves when we are happy? - Life is wonderful! - I’m so great (smart, handsome..)! - I’m lucky. - Tomorrow I can do even better! 3. Observation of inner speech helps to study automatic thoughts, stereotyped judgments, concepts from the parental family - determined by the process of algorithmic thinking. They seem to decipher what is happening outside in accordance with personal experience. At the same time, reflection and the search for alternative response options depending on the situation are often excluded. They block cognitive activity by making distorted judgments about reality and the situation. This resembles some kind of program code that determines the operation of the system. Undoubtedly, concepts, templates, stereotypes, as a product of algorithmic thinking, are necessary for us to solve typical problems and to save energy. However, a simplified thinking process deprives us of flexibility in atypical situations. This becomes a source of conflicts that lead to a deterioration or severance of contact with another person or group of people. Psychotherapist Marilyn Murray, in her methodological system of psychotherapy, describes “destructive melodies,” records that sound in our heads. It metaphorically describes cognitive static structures rooted in our internal space of communication with ourselves. Here's a quote from her: "Some records play in our heads all the time; others we hear only on special occasions. Some records are false, others are true, others may contain a misunderstood truth. There are records of two contradictory messages - Be the best and don't bully nose! ". What “records” do you recite for yourself? How often and in what situations do they appear? Does talking to yourself with such “records” help you or hinder you, or both? Then differentiate. Here, observation of inner speech helps to reveal a certain framework of beliefs and concepts that are familiar to us, which is a reflection of our.