A flower that breaks through a crack in the asphalt and reaches for the sun shows resilience! Just like a person who is able to withstand stressful situations, while maintaining internal balance without reducing the success of his activities. I remember the words from Vera’s song Brezhnev: And the sun shines equally for everyone, and in vain you, my girl, cried... But is it so easy to be resilient and what influences its formation? So, the formation of resilience is directly influenced by upbringing. It would seem that the more difficult a child’s childhood was, the more The more “hardened” he grows to the blows of fate, the more resilient he will be. But this is not so. Research, which can be read in detail in D. Nakazava’s book “Fragments of Childhood Trauma,” has scientifically shown that a child’s brain, under conditions of deprivation (deprivation) of love, care and safety from adults, develops in an unhealthy way, forming the so-called an alarm system that is always on alert. Such a person, growing up, is constantly in tension, his reserve reserves of energy are depleted, and when faced with life's difficulties, he becomes unable to cope with them in an adaptive way. And in these ways, various kinds of addictions often become, which act as an escape from reality. In order for a person to successfully learn to cope with stress in adulthood, a reliable secure attachment with parents is needed. This means that in childhood there should be enough love, security, acceptance and approval from parents. Such children, growing up, show themselves as active, purposeful, satisfied with life, capable of managing their own feelings (this does not mean not being angry, ashamed, etc.), flexible, creative, who can easily adapt to different life conditions and circumstances, able to take risks, open. But if you had a different childhood, is it possible to fix something? Childhood cannot be corrected, but to develop new ways to cope with the difficulties and challenges of life - you can! This requires a lot of resources - something that will support you to pass the tests. These can be external resources: a good financial situation, support from family and friends, a stable favorite job, etc. And internal ones: your intelligence, education, abilities, etc. .. your childhood experience! Behind every problem and difficulty there is a resource, a gift. Try to find it in your experience and rely on it. For example, your parents were too busy / drank and had no time for you.. You learned to survive, be strong, keep yourself busy. You have some kind of chronic, hereditary / protracted illness - you know the value of health, you study a lot of information, perhaps you help others with similar problems. You became who you are thanks to the experience you went through. He shaped you. Psychotherapy can be a great resource to help you get through difficult times or the memories of them. VKontakte group: https://vk.com/psy_milkTelegram channel: https://t.me/psy_milkova