Codependent people for the most part do not have the talent of communicating with other people. Instead of speaking directly, voicing their desires, they never stop hoping that the interlocutor will read their thoughts, guess about their desires - just as a mother once knew on an intuitive level what her baby wanted right now. It’s sad, but codependent people can constantly use such an evasive style of communication, which, of course, ultimately will not lead them to the desired result. What can you do, how can you change your behavior in order to switch from the desire for half-guessing to openness and even frankness? You will have to make some efforts on yourself and even take control of your thoughts. So, when having negative conversations with yourself, try to replace their nature with a positive one and remember every time: - if you want something, don’t be afraid to ask for it ;- you and what you are is good;- everything you feel and think is correct and has a place to exist;- voicing your problems is quite normal;- your opinion matters;- learn say “no”; - don’t bully and tell the truth - this will make you free and even your soul will become much lighter. Once you form beliefs based on these principles, you will notice how it becomes much easier to ask for what you want! In successfully achieving your desire, it will not hurt to clearly define what you really want and not confuse what you want with what you need. After all, a need is nothing more than a thing or a certain condition that you need, first of all, in order to survive. But a desire is something you want, but if you don’t get it for some reason, you can live. Codependent people very often find it difficult to open up and talk about their inner experiences and thoughts, and there are reasons for this - from early childhood they were thought for and felt for them, they simply do not know how to do this on their own. Such a “disservice” makes itself felt over time, when a fully established adult does not know what he really wants, and it is easier for him to adapt to the desires of others - so-called opportunistic behavior is guessed, which, moreover, is complemented by and feelings of self-doubt. This circumstance also becomes an obstacle to achieving what you want. Self-confidence needs to be developed, because this feeling can protect you, your rights and personal space, and will repeatedly help you achieve your goals. In such situations, experts recommend trying to keep a diary, and then analyze the resulting entries, which should reflect the differences between vital things - needs - and optional things - your desires. Another effective way is to follow the nine recommendations below, which can be divided into four stages: thinking and feeling the problem, manipulating the problem, looking for opportunities to resolve the conflict, ending the conflict that has arisen. In fact, recommendations: - objectively describe your behavior in this or that situation or problem that has arisen in front of you; - analyze your attitude towards your behavior and the problem; - imagine how the problem affects you or your relationship; - listen to your opponent’s opinion about his perception of the conflict that has arisen; - give a specific formulation of what exactly you want from another person; - directly ask your interlocutor why he is doing this or that way; - compare whether your desires differ from the other person’s willingness to give it or do it to you; - if you do not find a compromise in your disagreements, take it for granted that your views do not coincide; - if, after all attempts to find a way out of the current situation, the conflict does not find its end and all relationships should be terminated, take one more step.