Sometimes a woman endures for so long that she brings the situation to the point of no return, when a lot of resentment, rage, anger, indignation, etc. have accumulated in her soul, the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer visible, patience is here - it will break and she will leave. Why? There are many reasons. But the main thing, it seems to me, is the lack of true, deep contact with oneself and respect for one’s own feelings. And also, probably, the fear of being sincere, real, so as not to be abandoned, not to fall out of love, not to be fired, not to be left alone. Now I’m not only talking about gender relations, but about friendship and work contacts as well. How do we ourselves create this vicious circle? Just. We are inactive. And it’s not for nothing that the law says: “ignorance of the law does not exempt you from responsibility.” Different people come into our lives and only we ourselves establish the rules of interaction that suit us. And often, this is exactly what we forget to do, we do not dare, we are afraid, but we only quietly hope that the person will soon understand that he is incorrect, inadequate, unprofessional, tactless, or simply doing something wrong - he will take it and correct himself. Only others more often do this not out of malice, but because for them this is the norm and if you don’t clearly show and explain to them where your border is and where your “no” begins, then nothing will change. How to talk to a man correctlyMen do not have with the gift of clairvoyance and not always by our facial expressions and gestures (unless, of course, it is the middle finger raised up) he can understand what we need and what hurts us. You need to talk to him. But talk wisely and like a woman. And it’s worth preparing for such a dialogue. 1) Ask yourself first - what is the essence of your dissatisfaction? What doesn't get you tired? Write it down. For example: “He works all the time. I see him 2 hours a week.” 2) How do you feel about this? Anger. Offense. Indignation.3) What would you like from him? Answer: “What is not clear?” is not accepted. State it clearly, even if it is obvious to you, for example: “I would like to spend more time together.” Better yet, write a specific number, how much more? For some, 4 hours is enough, but for others, three days is not enough. 4) Accept responsibility: for the choice of this man, for the situation, for the fact that no matter what you choose to live this way. That is, it is necessary to abandon the role of a victim, admit that you are a person worthy of respect and, first of all, begin to respect yourself. Others will catch up.5) Now is the time to talk to a man, colleague, girlfriend. The state should be calm. For example: Now you are working a lot (fact), I really miss our quality time together, so I am angry and offended by you (feelings). I want to ask you to devote more time to our couple (request). Let's go to the cinema together on Thursday, will this make me very happy? (an option on how to take the first step towards solving a problem + feelings). Fact - Feelings - Request - Solution option The main thing here when talking about facts is to avoid judgments. "You're an idiot and a moron" - this is not fact, but a negative assessment. Men hear our requests and happily respond to them. And then they add in horror: “You were silent for 2 years? Why?” Author: Liliya Sheleg