From the author: Family Secrets are the cause of the problems of the family While I am silent, I don’t have this........Is this really so? Evil Secrets of the Family Case from practice. When I I worked in a city outpatient clinic for adults; a client was referred to me after treatment by a therapist and a neurologist. There was no improvement. A set of medications: phenazepam and afobazole did not help. And now I have her. Psychosomatics based on nervousness, I assumed that the client had a neurotic state - a preliminary diagnosis - neurosis. Neurosis is the body's reaction to a negative, traumatic life situation. When neurosis occurs, disturbances occur mainly in the emotional sphere and the autonomic system of a person, while maintaining control over one’s behavior, without losing a sense of responsibility for one’s actions. In the client’s case, the neurosis was not caused by the loss of her husband. In general, the cocktail is still the same. Gradually, around the 3rd consultation, I was privy to all the details of this complex story. The reason was concealing a terrible, shameful family secret - the father, in a drunken stupor, stabbed his son, almost to death, with a knife, Immediately after he hanged himself. The family doesn’t remember this shameful act, and they don’t remember the dead man himself. They play a game of silence. Like an ostrich - when its head is buried in the sand - it seems to him that he is not visible. Here too - while I’m silent - I won’t give myself away. Because of this, the woman developed psychosomatic problems and pain in the body, which were not confirmed by clinical tests. We worked with various methods: RPT, DPD-eye, Ericksonian hypnosis. When the pain began to pass, she still remained in visible tension. the body did not let go of the problem. It became clear that the situation was not comfortable either in the family or at work. It turned out. what's in the family. And then she decided to ask to bring her son and daughter for a consultation. I set a time. My son came without his mother - 23 years old. I asked my daughter to come to consultations with her mother. No psychosomatic symptoms have yet been detected in children. However, the emotional sphere was unstable, shaken and anxious. My son began to have endless problems at work - everything was falling out of his hands, they threatened to fire him if he didn’t pull himself together. My daughter shut down. She attended school with reluctance, broke off all relationships with peers, became silent. Everyone looked gloomy and withdrawn. They didn’t smile at all. The mark of loss fell on their foreheads. Losing a husband and father. This should have been the case. In the process of working with each of them, it turned out that they did not feel sorry for their father, but shame “forced them to hide.” The fear of gossip from neighbors, girlfriends and colleagues frightened us with incredible force. And they decided to become ostriches - if we don’t talk about it... we’ll remember this incident... we’ll forget our husband-father... we’ll never remember again about this - that means it didn’t happen! Maybe we just dreamed it? They managed to exist with this illusion for six months. That is, they moved around the apartment as if in a dream…..sometimes exchanging phrases….when urgently needed. Everyone has their own favorite, hidden corner. Now everyone tried to eat separately. We watched TV one by one - like it’s not interesting to me... Not a word about it... The wife of the deceased was the first to give up, having come to see me and realizing that something was wrong in the family. Fear for the children prompted her to tell the truth - that happened. I, as best I could, through methods, questions, techniques, joint consultations, diagnosis of conditions, bodily and sensory exercises at home, explained to the family that keeping silent about a problematic situation is a bad solution. And if the situation with my daughter began to change, it gradually defrosted and became her former self, returning to herself and her friends, a blush and a smile appeared on her face.....Mom, looking at her daughter, also began to come to life, smile more, the tension subsided, her gait became easier, her shoulders straightened. However, the son remained closed, spoke little, was mostly silent, frozen in resentment and guilt towards his father. He was never able to forgive him...... and himself, including. However, he still can’t escape, because that his family is