How to stop being ashamed of yourself. No way! And this is not necessary at all - to completely get rid of shame. Shame is a social feeling, and in a certain proportion it serves us for our good. A feeling of shame appears in response to inconsistency with one’s own or public ideas about the “good/correct” behavior of a person/woman/mother/specialist..., about good and evil, etc. norms and ideals. “Thanks to shame, we don’t poop in the square” and avoid many antisocial actions and mistakes. Moderate fear of experiencing shame can contribute to the development of the desire for excellence, help us grow and become better. However, excessive fear of shame can hinder our development. This happens when a person feels powerless, unable to meet some of his own and social norms and ideals. In this case, the fear of shame leads to the desire to hide one’s shortcomings from oneself and others, to indecision, and then the person tries to show up less, avoid contact with other people, hide, fall through the ground and disappear. The feeling of shame is closely related to our self-esteem, to our idea of ​​ourselves: what I am today and what I should be. The greater the distance between the real self and the ideal self, the more shame we feel for ourselves and the fear of experiencing it if someone finds out about our imperfection. I will try to briefly talk about what you can do to be ashamed of yourself less and less afraid of experiencing shame, but I want you to understand that all this is very condensed, and all this is much more effective to do in the process of psychotherapy.✔Notice your achievements and successes , notice what we ourselves do for this - our strength and abilities, appropriate them to ourselves, praise ourselves; ✔ Notice with whose voice we criticize and devalue ourselves and learn to defend ourselves from this voice, cultivate within ourselves the voice of an inner lawyer who justifies us; ✔ Reduce the distance between the real-I and the ideal-I: ➖do not set far-reaching goals, focus on the nearest development zone: the next step or two or three;➖do not compare yourself with others, start only from yesterday’s self, allow yourself to move at your own pace and direction;➖be critical of your beliefs and ideals: who determined this, do I agree with it, why is it important to me, what do I really want, etc.;➖Differentiate between my own ideas about what I want to be and social and imposed;➖Form your social circle of like-minded people who share your values ​​and ideals;✔Fantasize about what will happen and what I can do if the worst fear happens (if I disgrace myself and feel ashamed), think through options for possible solutions; Remember that “fear has big eyes”:➖there are practically no irreparable situations, you can derive benefit and meaning from almost everything;➖other people think about us much less than we think, they are ready to forgive us a lot, give us a second chance and never remember our shame;✔Prepare for situations in which the fear of shame is most intense, develop your abilities;✔Try to manifest yourself more in similar to frightening, but safer conditions;✔Give yourself time, do not push yourself forward with provocations, challenges, do not drive with sticks, but also don’t allow yourself to stagnate in one place for too long, driven by fears. Move forward with self-care, holding the hand of your fear and holding the hand of your inner advocate. Shame is just a signal, not the end of the world.