I can’t forgive betrayal. In fact, I’ll say, perhaps it’s not a popular idea, but you shouldn’t set the goal of forgiving betrayal when thinking about your family, relationships, or children. Of course, all this is very important, but if you only think about it, you will forget about yourself. And you need to understand that the person who dared to cheat has called into question everything for which you want to maintain a relationship with him. That is, already at this stage you had completely different values ​​and betrayal only summed up and confirmed the disastrous result. This means that both of them did something wrong in the relationship. And then it is necessary not to preserve the relationship, but, with a mutual decision, to build it completely anew, taking into account the mistakes. Because the kind of relationship and the kind of life that existed before the betrayal will no longer exist. Everything will change, you, him, and the relationship itself. But what if, in principle, there is no desire to forgive betrayal. This is akin to inflicting some kind of internal trauma. Or so, betrayal can “raise” internal experiences that have nothing to do with the betrayal itself. Is it possible? If yes, then reconciliation is not possible in principle, because every memory of her will excite that same internal trauma, and it will always hurt. If not, then you only need to deal with your relationship with your partner. That is, at this difficult moment, “forgotten” experiences can interfere with correcting the situation in the present. Let's look at an example. "The story is banal - I found out about my husband’s betrayal. There was a scandal, a showdown, tears, I went through everything. I asked for forgiveness, but I couldn’t forgive. Now he lives with my mother, hopes that I will calm down. I want a divorce. I left my madam almost immediately. I have Everything inside is seething with resentment, I won’t forgive my husband, but this lady (I know her) really wants to do something bad. I, of course, understand that he is to blame, but where does this hatred for her come from? How to remove this negativity and forget about it? Is everything like a nightmare?” Good afternoon! He and his betrayal are his, let’s leave the husband aside for now. We are talking about this “madam” and what she did to you. She, no less, experienced what was only yours, she took “yours” - that’s where this hatred comes from. It’s not even about the husband and his betrayal, that’s something else, it’s something very personal. She entered where you had never let anyone in and it was your husband who became the “key”. I’ll make a guess now, and you’ll see how my words respond. Mine, this is something very childish, the child is weak, he cannot protect his own, so he hides his own. This “feeling” can remain in an adult and manifest itself not in the fact that you are really hiding something. But it is precisely in such moments - where yours is, anyone can “enter” and take anything. You remain as if unprotected, that’s what she did, she showed your vulnerability, insecurity. Therefore, you are not even considering a further relationship with your husband. For you, this is more than betrayal (you just don’t fully realize this yet). Even if you get together, he will no longer be “close” to you, you will also be “hiding” something from him. What else can happen, you and other men, having survived this betrayal, will not trust. What to do? Separate these two “situations” with a hot iron. Accept that she did not take anything from you, she may have succumbed to the persuasion of your husband, or for another reason. It’s just that at this stage, your husband turned out to be a complete “person” who could not solve his problem in any other way. Therefore, you need to deal not with her, she is a random “passenger,” but with him. It’s good, of course, to understand what prompted him to cheat, because in a relationship, two people are responsible. **Work with a psychologist, Whats App: 8-926-133-29-56, ttps://algorpsy.online/Psychodynamic online group: https://www.b17.ru/trainings/online_psychodynamic_group/